Not An Addict
by Sofia Bee
Summary: After the worst of battles, not even Clint in bed with her can make her feel better.
1. Chapter 1

**Title:** Not an addict  
**Author:** Sofia B.  
**Category:** Avengers  
**Pairing**: Natasha & Clint  
**Rating:** T to M (drug use and sexual situations)  
**Summary:** Thought the battle is over, not even Clint in bed with her can make her feel better.

**Note**: Based on a song by K's Choice. Emotional and full of anguish.

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing. If I did, Jeremy Renner a.k.a. the hawk would be tied to my bed forever and ever, and obviously he is not (or is he?)

* * *

_**Breathe it in and breathe it out**_

_**And pass it on, it's almost out**_

_**We're so creative, so much more**_

_**We're high above but on the floor**_

Her breath caught in her throat as his lips continued placing feather soft kisses around her stomach. Soft, sensual, light, his movements were slow. Hands roaming down her thighs, softly caressing the bruises that still had not faded. Nipping at her skin, he continued his kisses downward, following the heat that was escaping her body.

Her hands tangled in his hair, trying to restrain herself from forcibly shoving him down to where exactly she desired him. She wasn't patient, that much he knew. But he was a hawk, he was ever patient and ever content on giving her pleasure, even if it took him all night. "Please." It came out as a raspy whispered plea for mercy. A little smirk formed at the corner of his lips. He finally went to places left unattended for far too long.

At the first swipe of his tongue, Clint moaned as loud as Natasha did. Back arched, her head fell back, and she hissed and moaned in pleasure as he kept lapping at her. His strong arms kept her thighs from wrapping around his face to suffocate him, while his mouth continued skillfully at pleasuring the woman beneath him.

She was climaxing quickly and her body shuddered hard as she came all over his face, his mouth swallowing as much as he could gather. She tasted divine, as sweet as the last time he tasted her, which was far too long ago. Before she catch her breath again, he took it away from her in a searing hard kiss. His kiss was rough, needy, desperate for her. She kissed him back with equal fervor, her arms wrapping tightly around his neck. His skillful arms wrapped around her waist to position himself directly between her legs. And then he plunged directly into her, knowing it was exactly what she wanted.

_**It's not a habit, it's cool, I feel alive**_

_**If you don't have it you're on the other side**_

Her screams of passion were partially silenced, muffled by his mouth as he swallowed them. The hard and rough thrusting of his hips mirrored the desperate need they had for each other. The desire for each other had never been this strong. There missions were getting harder and more dangerous, and they were closer to death than they realistically realized. She was closer to death with each mission. He had therefor made it his own mission to remind her just how much he wanted her, needed her, desired her, lusted for her.

Her muscles were tensing, and he knew that she was going to orgasm soon. Luscious red curls sprawled all over the pillow, tanned skin in a heated glow, muscles spasming at his actions, she soul was bared to him, all his for the taking. Incoherent Russian pleas fell from her lips between her ragged breaths. Burying his face in her neck, he continued to plunge relentlessly into her, wanting to fill her, all of her, with him.

Determined to not let him have the complete upper hand, she flipped him over and he was now laid flat on his back, with the lovely Russian now straddling his hips. Though the room was dark, the light of the moon glaring through the window made her completely visible to him. Usually perfect curls were now damp and clinging to the outline of her face. Her face was flushed, and her lips were swollen from the torture his own mouth was putting on her earlier. Skin damp and sticky from the sweat their activities, the sight was complete perfection to him.

Before she could move, Clint sat up and grabbed her face. Kissing her roughly once more, he forced her body down the length of him, an action that was responded with a sharp cry of ecstasy. She rode him hard into another orgasm of her own, before he finally followed her into oblivion. They held each other tightly against one another through their ragged breathing, their heartbeats rapid against each other's skin.

"My god you are amazing," Clint whispered into her shoulder, kissing it softly between each word. She smiled softly, letting him pull her down to lay down on the bed.

* * *

_**The deeper you stick it in your vein**_

_**The deeper the thoughts, there's no more pain**_

_**I'm in heaven, I'm a god**_

_**I'm everywhere, I feel so hot**_

She couldn't sleep.

She tried, she pretended, almost fooled herself into believing that she had been sleeping.

But she didn't.

Her nights consisted of her staring up at the ceiling, calculating down to the second how much sleep she will get if she fell asleep at that exact moment. But sleep never came. It calmed her enough to have her love laying next to her. Curled up to his side, Natasha partially laid her head on the arm that Clint had wrapped around her shoulder. The other arm laid protectively over her stomach, presumably to shield her from whatever dared harm her in the dead of night, if only from her own nightmares.

Clint knew she wasn't sleeping. He knew something was weighing heavy on her heart to a point where nightmares would invade the little slumber she did get. It bothered him that he couldn't seem to help her more. But he also knew not to push her. If she needed help she would ask. Until then, his arms and kisses would have to suffice.

"Can you keep a secret?" The heat of the whispered question against her temple brought her out of her daze. She smiled lazily at him.

"For you, of course." Her reply was just as soft, just as sincere. She was after all, his secret keeper. All of his secrets were kept under lock and key in her heart, the heart that belonged to him.

"I love you," he whispered, a kiss laid in her hair.

* * *

_**It's over now, I'm cold, alone**_

_**I'm just a person on my own**_

_**Nothing means a thing to me**_

Clint had long fallen asleep. It was then that Natasha decided to slip out of bed and head to kitchen.

Tea, tea would make her feel better.

Despite all the flashy-ness that is Tony Stark, the newly renovated Avengers Tower was dark, practically looking abandoned at the dead of night. They had settled into their new home for quite a few months now. Truth be told, it had brought them closer, much closer than just coworkers in the field. It was almost like they were family.

Pepper was definitely the mother, that's for sure.

It was just after 3 a.m. and thankfully the kitchen was abandoned. As she had done many nights before, she made herself a cup of chamomile tea. Urban legend has it that chamomile would bring on sleep, deep sleep. To her, it had proven to be just a myth, but the taste suited her enough to continue the charade of hope.

JARVIS had greeted her softly and offered up some soft music to help. She accepted, not wanting to argue with electronics. She wasn't sure where to kick him to shut him up.

She wasn't sure how much longer she could keep it up. The exhaustion was getting heavier. The dark bags under her eyes were starting to look like permanent tattoos and make up was not going to make it any better. Her training sessions were starting to look sloppy and she no longer had the strength to spew death threats at Tony when he made his usual snarky comments.

She breathed in deeply when leaning against the counter had proven to be a bad idea. The bruise that travelled from her hip, all the way down her thigh and partially over her butt was excruciatingly painful. It has since turned to a dark shade of blue and purple, with no sign of fading anytime soon. She knew the new bruises had bothered Clint tremendously, but not as much as her refusal to sit out a few missions to let her body heal. She was too proud and stubborn to sit anything out.

She sometimes forgets that unlike the others, she and Clint where completely human with no form of super powers other than their weaponry skills. Her body was fragile, but she wouldn't admit defeat. As long as her heart was beating and her hands could hold a gun, she would not sit out any mission.

A single tear rolled down her cheek.

If only she could just get some sleep.

_**It's not a habit, it's cool, I feel alive**_

_**If you don't have it you're on the other side**_

_**I'm not an addict (maybe that's a lie)**_

* * *

_**I have big plans for this story. Please youtube the song to understand where I am going with this.**_

_**And as always, please review to let me know what you think. **_


	2. Chapter 2

**Title:** Not an addict  
**Author:** Sofia B.  
**Category:** Avengers  
**Pairing**: Natasha & Clint  
**Rating:** T to M (drug use and sexual situations)  
**Summary:** Thought the battle is over, not even Clint in bed with her can make her feel better.

**Note**: Based on a song by K's Choice. Emotional and full of anguish.

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing. If I did, Jeremy Renner a.k.a. the hawk would be tied to my bed forever and ever, and obviously he is not (or is he?)

* * *

"Are you out of your freaking Russian mind?" Tony's question had proven to be a bad idea, as the outburst caused a whole new surge of pain to coarse through his body. Blood was seeping down his face, the towel that was being used to clean himself up now soaked in red.

"Would you all mind filling me in on what happened out there?" Fury's question was laden with anger as well, demand evident. The battle was over, seemingly won by the Avengers. The demeanor of every one in the room said differently though. They were all battered and bruised, some were shedding blood, some certainly had broken bones while others seemed angry as hell.

"She shot me!" Tony screamed, pointing to Natasha. The redhead at the other end of the table was fuming, annoyance plastered all over her face.

"You are still alive aren't you?" Her tone was unemotional, no trace of regret or any apology evident. Slumped over the large office chair, the medics tried to clean the scratch on her temple, though her constant flinching was making the task difficult. Muffled screams filled the room when Thor held Clint down and Steve popped his dislocated shoulder back in its socket. Bruce, currently still in "the other guy" form, was in his cage, de-Hulking.

"Physically deformed now, thanks to you!" Tony snarled. He tried to suppress a painful grunt when the anti-septic hit his face, but the feeling that Tony could only describe as the center of the earth exploding on his face was a little too painful for him to bear. The medic got a good whack against his face for that.

"Don't be such a baby! The bullet barely grazed past your ear. its a superficial surface wound," she spat back. Tony's eyes flared a shade of red much more fiery than her own hair.

"I'm bleeding! You could have blown my ear drum!" he defended.

"Maybe that will finally shut you up!" she hissed back.

"ENOUGH!" Fury bellowed across the room. The silence that followed was only broken by the ragged breaths of the exhausted.

"It was an accident. I was aiming at the things we were battling in the middle of Time Square, your head got in the way." The explanation or excuse, she wasn't quite sure yet the true nature of her statement, was said through gritted teeth. She felt it typical of them, of all of them. Blame the woman, blame the only female and moreover human team member. How soon they forget that she almost singlehandedly brought them all together, how she was the one that closed the portal the first time they saved the world, how she was the one that lived through their battles when they, the damn near immortal and untouchables escaped practically unscathed. To say that she was envious was an understatement, but her Russian pride would dare not admit it. No, she was way too proud for that.

"You DONT miss! You are trained to NOT MISS. You were either aiming for me or you are losing your edge missy." Tony's tone was one that the teamed had not yet experienced. Anger, of course. But it was also interlaced with something else, something emotional, something almost resembling hurt and disappointment, maybe even betrayal.

"Why don't I shoot you right now to see if I can miss again?" Instantly, everyone froze as Natasha's gun cocked and was pointed directly at Tony's face with lightning speed. Her body seemed way too calm, way too collected as she pointed her deadly weapon at her compatriot, a mannerism that Clint and Fury knew all too well. She was ready to kill. But her face was foreign. Her orbs were glazed over with what could be mistaken for tears. The bags under her eyes have since darkened even more to resemble bruises and her attempts at covering them up with make up have proven to be futile.

"Natasha," Clint whispered close to her ear. His hand, carefully placed on top of her gun, pushed it down and turned her to look at him. "How about we shoot the big mouth AFTER dinner," he offered, his eyes soft yet full of intent. Natasha shot him an angry look in return before turning around and stomping out of the room. It was only after her footsteps could no longer be heard that they all breathed a sigh of relief. All, except for Tony.

"That woman has finally flown the coup. I say we put her in the de-Hulking cage, that will set her straight," Tony muttered, ignoring the all too familiar deathly glare he was receiving from the "other" assassin of the group.

"Barton, we need you to-" Fury began, but was met by an interruption.

"I know director. I am on it." With that Clint left the room as well.

Fury did not appreciate the lack of respect the team was showing at the moment, but he had no energy to call order to a pissed off Russian and a cry baby Stark.

He looked over to Steve and Thor, who were idly rubbing their wrists.

"You two, go make sure Banner is al right," Fury ordered. They both nodded and headed out the door, leaving Fury and Tony behind. Tony was about to open his mouth, but Fury's hand stopped him.

"Save it Stark. Get some rest." Tony glared at him before stomping out the room himself.

* * *

Natasha said nothing to Clint when she exited the bathroom back into their bedroom. It was obvious that he was waiting for her so they could talk, but she would have none of it. She was tired, she was achy, and above all she was not in the mood to apologize for her little outburst.

Although she was certain it wouldn't be an overly bad idea to shoot Tony Stark.

"You care to explain about your little show in there?" Concern drooping as much as his shoulders, he sat on the edge of the bed, hands clasped between his knees. He ignored the pain that surged through his shoulder that only moments ago was hanging out of its socket. Head turned to look at her, his eyes, filled with worry bore right through her.

"Not particularly." Again, cold and unemotional.

"Natasha!" It had been a long time since she had heard such impatience in his voice, but she had never experienced it directed at her. This certainly was a first, and she was sure she wasn't going to like it. Before she could head to the closet to get some clothes, Clint had stepped to her and cupped her face in his hands, his eyes piercing hers searching for a response.

"Please tell me what's going on," he pleaded with her in a soft desperate tone. The shower had washed away all the blood and dirt and left her bare for him to see, and he wasn't happy with the sight.

"Nothing," she dismissed, and turned to break from his embrace, but Clint would have none of it. He forced her face back to his. She was shocked and possibly angry by the force he was using on her, and even more so at the look in his eyes now. Concern was now replaced with something that could pass as anger.

"I just need some sleep. I cant sleep, I haven't been sleeping and I am running on empty. I just need some sleep." She didn't realize when the tears started falling down her cheeks, nor did she realize that Clint was hugging her tightly. His embrace broke all her barriers and she held on to him as if she was holding on for dear life.

"I just need sleep," she kept murmuring into his shoulder.

Yeah, thats what she needed. Sleep. _Riiiiight._


	3. Chapter 3

**Title:** Not an addic  
**Author:** Sofia B.  
**Category:** Avengers  
**Pairing**: Natasha & Clint  
**Rating:** T to M (drug use and sexual situations)

**Summary:** Thought the battle is over, not even Clint in bed with her can make her feel better.

**Note**: Based on a song by K's Choice. Emotional and full of anguish.

**Extra Note: I appreciate all of you that have favorite and added this story to their alerts but PLEASE do me a big favor and REVIEW the story as well. A little motivation goes a LONG WAY :)**

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing. If I did, Jeremy Renner a.k.a. the hawk would be tied to my bed forever and ever, and obviously he is not (or is he?)

* * *

If yesterday she was angry, today she was a volcano that was going to erupt. And nobody was going to get out alive if they didn't run for it.

Destruction was surely in her path.

Natasha finally accepted that pointing a gun to Tony's face - _**again**_ - was a very bad idea and her punishment was handed to her on a silver platter right before breakfast.

**Mandatory downtime until further notice. **

Director Fury was more than happy to sign off on it after the little debacle they had last night, no doubt being pushed by Tony to do so, probably with the electric prodder that Tony liked to poke Bruce with. "The Hulk Inducer" as it had been affectionately called and was on its way to be patented.

What infuriated her more than anything was their reasoning to warrant her some down time. "Professional Misconduct". It was all bullshit in her mind and quite frankly a slap to her face. This was just a fancy way of saying she was suspended. How dare they do this to her. She had dedicated her life to them, put her body at risk day after day. She was the one that after all found a way to close the portal and this is how they thank her? Suspending her all because she "accidentally" shot at Tony.

Its not like they all don't want to kill Tony at least once a day.

It was after all an accident, right? The battle was hectic, they were surrounded and she was being lunged at, she was shooting at everything that moved toward her, Tony had just simply gotten in the way. That's what had happened right? That is what she kept telling herself.

She shook the thoughts of slow torture on her director from her mind when she registered that she no longer was the solitary inhabitant of the kitchen. Operation: Pluck out Fury's other eye will just have to wait until later.

"Good morning," Steve greeted her casually, pouring coffee into the empty mug in front of her before pouring some for himself. Mumbling something that Steve would accept as a greeting, she turned to walk away, but the Captain's action of clearing his throat signaled that he did not approve of her excusing herself. She was not amused.

"Yes?" she asked through gritted teeth, but Steve was unfazed by her tone.

"Are you alright?" The tone was just as casual as his greeting.

"Just peachy," she responded before turning on her heel again.

"Some down time will do you good. We all agreed to it, we thought it was for the best," Steve called out.

She froze at the statement, her entire body going stiff. If this was a cartoon, her face would be turning red and steam would come flying out of her ears and nose and a transformation would take place where her beautiful face would turn into a bull, a raging bull. Her knuckles white from the fists they had formed, she turned to look at the captain, her eyes full of anger and resentment.

"Did you all also decide it was for the best to send Clint to the other side of the globe on a mission while I take this "much needed" vacation?" If anybody was actively paying attention, they could swear a tint of hurt was intertwined in the angry tone she was currently spewing. She may have been the Black Widow to every other person, but to the team she was Natasha, just Natasha. She was their teammate and Clint was her lover and they all knew that separation of the two was not a choice anybody wanted. Clint kept Natasha in check when her attitude got out of hand and she was overall more pleasant -_well as pleasant as she could be_ - when Clint was around.

"Actually no. But Fury couldn't have both of you on extended leave," Steve offered but Natasha in her current state could not see reason, would not register the genuine concern Steve was showing and would not accept the comfort she knew he would extend. Steve was predictable like that, and somewhere deep down she knew that she should appreciate it. If anybody had any form of humanity on this god forsaken team, it would be Steve.

"Of course not, business is business right?" she spat back, her arms now folded protectively over her chest. Steve sighed and abandoned the bar stool he had been occupying and walked over to her. She merely turned her head to the side when he stood in front of her.

"Natasha, you look like a wreck," she flinched a little when he placed his hands on her shoulders, "You are getting more pale everyday, your body is looking like its going to give out and your eyes are practically blood shot." His voice was soft and steady, complete opposite of how her body was feeling at the moment. When she closed her eyes, Steve protested by shaking her every so slightly, and she returned her gaze to him.

"Now I know you wont tell us how to help you, but you HAVE to do something before you make yourself sick," he pleaded.

Her usually bright and seductive eyes were now glazed over, tears threatening to escape if she didn't keep her composure.

"I -" she began. They were soon interrupted when Tony, Bruce and Thor joined them in the kitchen.

"Suit up Captain, we are going for breakfast and Cafe Dulce," Tony exclaimed, a little louder than his usual obnoxious voice. At the sound of his voice, Natasha pushed herself back, breaking the hold that Steve had on her.

"Not you Red Riding Hood," Tony said with a hand on her shoulder, "You can't come, you're not invited!" he yelled in her ear. She jerked away from his touch and it took a lot of her restraint and logic to not slap him across the face. Unfazed, Tony poured himself a cup of coffee when he reached the counter and only shot her a confused look when she grumbled some profanity in Russian.

"Oh what's that? You should really speak up since I've lost my hearing when somebody decided to blow my ear off," Tony retorted, his hand up to his bandaged ear as if to make a hollow horn to hear. Other than a bandaged ear, he looked damn near normal and his usual cocky self. He pouted when Natasha just stormed off, Steve frowning as she disappeared.

"She's so much more fun when she isn't completely crazy," Tony sighed, sipping on his coffee which earned a disapproving glare from Steve.

"Cut her some slack Tony. She looks worse for wear lately, even your ego can take notice of that," Steve spat. Tony gasped dramatically loud in feigned offense, his hand on his chest.

"She started it when she shot me!" Tony defended.

"She can still beat you up," Steve responded.

"Which you probably deserve," Bruce mildly interjected through sips of his coffee.

"Take that back! I'm too pretty to get beat up!" Tony whined between a pop tart.

"Don't make her your enemy Stark, I will fight on her side should she declare war on you" Thor declared. Bruce and Steve chuckled under their breaths. Tony knew that the rest would all be on her team anyway, safer and less likely to lose limbs if they did.

"She still started it," Tony muttered in defeat as they made their way to the garage to go for breakfast.

* * *

Natasha avoided Clint all morning. She was not going to endure watching him pack for whatever mission he was sent on. Knowing Fury, the jackass had probably sent him on a LONG mission very FAR away to distract Natasha enough to take some time for herself **BY HERSELF**. It also meant that there would be no communication at all.

They may have been amazing lovers, but when it came to their jobs, they were serious. Missions were the priority, when they were working - solo or as a team - they were SHIELD agents first and foremost. They had endured lengthy times apart, some lasting up to 6 months of no communication. The time apart would not matter as soon as they did reunite but at this specific moment, Natasha surely wished that he didn't have to go.

"It is getting increasingly difficult to find you in this ridiculously huge tower when you refuse to answer your phone."

Clint found her the "movie theatre" room, curled up in the oversized lazy boy chair, a half eaten bowl of popcorn in her lap and "The Wizard of Oz" playing on the big screen. Her love for old time movies always fascinated him.

"Sorry," she muttered and asked JARVIS to mute the movie and turn the lights back on.

What he saw when the lights turned on was not what he expected, and it took a certain amount of restraint on his part to not gasp.

Bloodshot eyes, dehydrated skin trying to hide in his oversized T shirt and uncombed hair.

"Tasha," he muttered, taking a seat next to her on the lazy boy.

"I'm fine Clint," she immediately defended as if she had been accused of murder, but she didn't deny the embrace when he pulled her onto his lap.

"I know babe," he whispered into her hair before laying a kiss a top her head. He knew better than to argue with her, the more tired she was the more she'd fight it to a point of violence and unlike Tony, Clint didn't have a death wish. He frowned even deeper when he felt how she was trembling and how cold her skin was.

"Where has Fury banished you to, Antarctica?" she asked into his neck. Even her breath on his skin felt cold, but he chuckled anyway to ease her. "Close enough, Argentina for surveillance." He placed another kiss into her hair and pulled her more tightly to him, pulling up the blanket around them more snug.

Her hair was greasy, she probably hadn't properly washed it in weeks and her skin was dry. She wasn't taking good care of her body at all. Clint's worry was worsening and he knew that things wouldn't get better when he was gone. Natasha was stubborn and the only other person that she even VAGUELY listened to was him.

"Baby?" the endearment was sweet to her ears, "I know you don't want to, but consider going away for a bit while you are on leave. Go to the Caribbean and lay on the beach, go visit my mother in in Texas. Pepper actually really wants you to go to Florida with her to check out a new hotel Tony wants to take over." He offered her many options in the hope that she would say yes, but his instincts and knowledge of his girlfriend overrode his desires and where yelling at him that she would decline.

"Uh hmm," she hummed before drifting into sleep. Clint held her there in his arms for a long while, letting an actual slumbering Natasha get the rest he knew was evading her for some time now.

It pained him to know that she wasn't well, that she was not sleeping and that she was obviously deeply troubled by something. But he knew if he pushed, if he forced, she would have a breakdown, a complete breakdown. It would be like Budapest all over again and he couldn't have that, he would't have that. Natasha was not going to shut down. Not again, not ever again.

After a while, he gathered her into his arms and carried her back to their bedroom and gracefully placed her under the sheets and tucked her in. He didn't want to go, but he knew he was already running late.

He placed a lingering kiss a top of forehead.

"I love you," he whispered before heading to Argentina.

* * *

Thank you for reading. Please review.


	4. Chapter 4

**Title:** Not an addict  
**Author:** Sofia B.  
**Category:** Avengers  
**Pairing**: Natasha & Clint  
**Rating:** T to M (drug use and sexual situations)

**Summary:** Thought the battle is over, not even Clint in bed with her can make her feel better.

**Note**: Based on a song by K's Choice. Emotional and full of anguish.

**Extra Note: I appreciate all of you that have favorite and added this story to their alerts but PLEASE do me a big favor and REVIEW the story as well. A little motivation goes a LONG WAY :)**

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing. If I did, Jeremy Renner a.k.a. the hawk would be tied to my bed forever and ever, and obviously he is not (or is he?)

* * *

It is wasn't for her stubbornness and sheer inability - _or maybe it was just refusal _- to admit that they were right, she would tell them that this mandatory down time thing really wasn't _**THAT**_ bad. But why give them that kind of satisfaction, right?

The first 3 days she spent mostly barricaded in her room, blinds and curtains drawn to keep any light from invading her dark fortress. JARVIS had played her soothing music that had help ease the tension that surged through her entire body. She had slept a fair amount of hours in her solitude, though not quite sure if she was actually sleeping or just falling in and out of consciousness due to complete exhaustion. Either way, her body was grateful for the rest. Somebody, presumably Pepper, had slipped in numerous times a day to bring her some substance to fill her empty body whit nutrition and she suspected that a doctor had stopped by in her unconscious state to make sure her vitals were ok.

By day 4 she slipped into the gym in the middle of the night to stretch her legs and attempt some kind of a work out and by the end of the week she had somewhat returned to the land of the living, being seen by her fellow housemates walking around the house. Yet she hadn't spoken to any of them, she merely acknowledge their greetings as she raided the fridge before disappearing back to her web.

By the end of week 2, most of her bruises had faded and her skin had regained some reasonable color and her eyes were no longer bloodshot. Fatigue however was still very much evident in her whole body stance. Shoulders hunched, feet dragging, bags under her eyes still resembling black eyes lingered on her.

That night she found herself curled up on the chair on the outdoor patio with a book on her lap, covered in a blanket and one of Clint's T-shirts. His scent still lingered on the fabric and Natasha cocooned herself within it, feeling safe and utterly tranquil wrapped in his imaginary body. It had been 2 weeks since he left for Argentina and she missed him and hoped he was alright, but more so that he would be coming back soon.

It had been raining all night and the distant rumbling of thunder and burst of lightning had signaled to Natasha that it probably would not let up anytime soon. Not that it bothered her one bit, rain was soothing to her and truth be told, the pit pattering of the raindrops against the exposed concrete mere feet away from her and the wisp of the cool breeze against her face and messy curls made her feel the most relaxed she had been since Clint left.

The vibrating of her cellphone in her lap momentarily distracted her from gazing at the distant lighting. Her lips curled into the faintest of smiles as her eyes scanned the message.

_**Hope you are enjoying the rain. I miss you. Meet me in your dreams **_

She wondered for a brisk moment if Clint had nothing better to do than check the weather update for New York, but the thought just as quickly vanished in the wind and she replied that she missed him as well, wishing he was there with her. If only he was there with her, she sighed deeply at the thought. The first time she was issued a "vacation" in a very long time and the love of her life wasn't even on the same continent to spend it with her. She made a mental note to tweak Fury torture plan for that one.

She was too preoccupied watching the rain that she hadn't noticed the sliding door opening and a visitor joining her on the porch, a plate of cookies in hand.

"I see you have taken over the hawk's nest."

Natasha turned slightly to see that Thor had joined her on the patio dressed in a pair of jeans and a t shirt. She had to say though, he actually looked pretty good in Midgardian clothing. The smile she gave him told him he was given permission to enter, and he took a seat in the empty patio chair beside her and extended the tray of cookies towards her to which she declined.

The silence that lingered was only interrupted by the rumbling thunder. The sound was music to Thor's ears.

"I take it this is your doing," Natasha stated, her finger pointing towards the sky. Thor gave her a chuckle and a guilty look that made her chuckle as well.

"Did Tony blackmail you for a storm so he can turn Bruce into Frankenstein 2.0?"

"He tried, I have not yet conceded. I am uncertain if I wish to engage in a war with the Hulk," Thor answered back with a slight chuckle at the end. Natasha let out an actual laugh that momentarily lit up her face. It was the first time she had laughed in weeks and it truly suited her well. Another comfortable silence fell between them.

The smell of the air brought more calmness to her and she breathed it in deeply, letting the scent take over her body. Being at ease was not something that came easily with her and it was a welcoming feeling.

"I like the rain." The soft confession did not fall on deaf ears.

"I know, I had hoped that the rain would bring you comfort. You do look much better lately," he offered. Natasha wondered if Thor had decided to bestow her with such weather on his own, or if Clint had put him up to it. Either way, she was grateful for the gesture.

"Thank you," the genuine tone made him smile.

"You are beautiful Natasha," Thor's voice was soft and came out almost as a whisper. Odd, she'd never expected Thor of all people to be able to speak at such a decibel, didn't exactly suit someone with the likes of Thunder and Lightning.

"Excuse me?" She tried not to sound too shocked at the statement, yet her face was plastered with disbelief that the God had given her a compliment, especially one where she wasn't compared to some beastly warrior.

"You are an exceptionally gorgeous woman, Natasha. Every man on this planet would boldly go into battle in exchange for your hand, even Tony."

An actual blush flushed over her cheeks and her body went warm as his words sunk in to her. Sure, she was used to men drooling over, but that was lust, they only wanted to devour her body. Thor had called her beautiful, - _beautiful _- , and she was unable to think on how to respond. His words slashed through her thoughts.

"I am not going to be like the others and ask you what you need or tell you to you what to do to get back to your old self," firm yet compassion was laced in his tone. It was odd to her, she didn't tense at the words but rather drew comfort from them.

"But I will say that you are so beautiful. Don't let whatever is bothering you take that away Natasha." At the conclusion of his statement, he reached over and kissed the back of her hand. He may not know the right human words of comfort and even less of their forms of affection, but his Asgardian instinct told him that a kiss to her hand was what she needed. Triumph plastered his handsome features when Natasha blushed a tomato shade of red at his actions. He was sure this was a good sign.

"Come, Pepper is cooking dinner and your thin frame is offensive to mine eyes," he said in an attempt to cut the tension that he knew was somewhere in the background.

To her own surprise, she gladly let him lead her back inside to the land of the living.

The rest of them all stood around the kitchen helping Pepper cook. Well they were all _pretending_ to help Pepper cook but in all actuality they were drinking and nibbling on whatever they could get their hands on without Pepper whacking them with a spatula. The chit chatter stopped when they all looked up to see Thor and Natasha enter the room.

Tony was the first to speak. "Crap, you are still alive, now I owe Steve $50," he whined which earned a whack at the back of his head. He yowled a bit and was ready to retort, but Pepper pinching his arm signaled him to keep his trap shut.

"Natasha, I am very happy you decided to join, I do hope you are hungry?" Pepper's face was beaming with an ear to ear smile directed at the red head.

"Actually, I am," Natasha said and took a seat on the bar stool that Pepper was gesturing towards. Steve smiled softly at her and offered her a glass of orange juice.

Bruce was hidden behind the New York Times And Steve, Tony and Thor were discussing whatever new armor Tony was concocting to test Thor's hammer. Determination was brooding in Tony to invent something that Thor couldn't break. Pepper had refused to let Natasha help in a culinary fashion, so all Natasha could do was sit back and watch. She took that moment to take in the situation. Other than Clint not being here, the group was pretty much complete. They had turned into something like a family since they moved into the Avengers Tower, and mommy was cooking everybody a home cooked dinner.

"How is your time off going?" Pepper dared ask when they all sat down to eat. All eyes cautiously darted in Natasha's direction. She shrugged in response. "It's ok," she managed to peep out all the while picking carelessly at her asparagus.

"You look much better," Steve offered to which Natasha gave him an uncomfortable look along with an awkward "thanks" mumbled under her breath.

"Sleeping well?" Bruce asked, and she responded with a little nod before forcing some vegetables in her mouth.

"We should get the doctor back up here, make sure you are internally stable," Steve piped in to which Natasha clenched her jaw, still only nodding.

"Get her some Flintstones vitamins, she'll be fine after some of those, and a vibrator," Tony joked which earned him yet another whack to the back of his head. He winced and stared back at his dish when Pepper gave him an impatient look.

"I think I'll call the doctor right now," Steve said.

"I'm fine, no need," Natasha said through gritted teeth, her fist gripping the fork tightly. The ease she had felt earlier on the porch was quickly dissipating and she regretted joining the land of the living at that moment.

"It can wait until the morning Cap. Let's just enjoy dinner," Bruce warned, sensing Natasha's discomfort. They had finally gotten Natasha out of the shadows and he wasn't going to let Steve's ignorance of inability to understand social cues mess that up. Nobody else needed to lose an ear.

"Why wait?" He asked confused, to which Tony rolled his eyes.

"I don't feel the need to have a security breach in my house on a Friday night," Tony added and ducked in case Pepper would whack him again.

"Oh get over it," Steve chided and reached for his cellphone.

"I'm really fine," Natasha stated, trying her best to stay calm, but she felt the anger rising in the pit of her stomach.

"Yes doctor, Steve Rogers here. Your assistance is needed-" he began.

"I'm fine!" Natasha shrieked, the fork in her hands coming down with all her might and being jammed right into Steve's palm. A scream came out of his throat as Natasha took it out and continuously stabbing him mercilessly.

"Holy shit!" Tony exclaimed, pushing himself off the barstool he was occupying.

"Natasha calm down!" someone yelled and placed a hand on her shoulder, presumably to stop her from trying to impale Steve. Uh-oh, big mistake. In instant reflex, Natasha swung her arm back, connecting to the perpetrator's face.

Pepper went flying backwards, her head smashing with a deafening thud against the edge of the granite bar before laying limp on the cold floor. The blood gushing from her forehead gave the illusion that her skull had been split open. Natasha wasn't exactly sure at what point Thor had grabbed her to restrain her.

The room went silent as Tony and Bruce hurried over to Pepper. Natasha was aimlessly trying to fight out of Thor's grasp. She was thrashing about, mumbling russian obscenities and the look in her eye was foreign to them. It was only when she noticed Pepper's unconscious body that some form of humanity returned to her demeanor. She was shocked at what she had done.

Tony stood up, anger deeply rooted in his usually mischievous orbs.

"I have no idea what the fuck is wrong with you, but I have lost every bit of patience for your destructive mannerism IN MY HOUSE!" Tony bellowed.

Natasha didn't even wince at the tone that was clearly directed at her.

"Pack your bags, you're taking the jet tomorrow and you are going somewhere, anywhere to cool off. And don't come back until you are in a much more pleasant mood or else I will give you a high five...to the face...with a chair...made of steel." It took all of Tony's willpower to restrain himself from bashing Natasha's head in. After a few seconds of a stare down, he turned to see Bruce had lifted Pepper into his arms and both of them disappeared to the medical ward.

Steve grabbed a towel to stop the bleeding on his hand before storming of as well. When the kitchen was bare, Thor finally released his grip on Natasha and she in turn yanked away from him.

"Natasha," he called out as she walked off.

"Fuck off," she yelled back, slamming the bedroom door behind her.

* * *

**Hmm, where is she gonna go? Oh the suspense **

**Please REVIEW **


	5. Chapter 5

**Title:** Not an addict  
**Author:** Sofia B.  
**Category:** Avengers  
**Pairing**: Natasha & Clint  
**Rating:** T to M (drug use and sexual situations)  
**Summary:** Thought the battle is over, not even Clint in bed with her can make her feel better.

**Note**: Based on a song by K's Choice. Emotional and full of anguish.

**Extra Note:** I appreciate all of you that have favorite and added this story to their alerts but PLEASE do me a big favor and REVIEW the story as well. A little motivation goes a LONG WAY :)

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing. If I did, Jeremy Renner a.k.a. the hawk would be tied to my bed forever and ever, and obviously he is not (or is he?)

* * *

She didn't take the jet.

Tony may have offered the gesture - _or more so ultimatum _- to give the illusion of graciousness and possibly concern. Its not overly surprising to any of them at this point that Tony Stark did possess some kind of genuine heart that was always perfectly laced with snarky comments. But in all actuality and true to Stark's nature, he primarily wanted to monitor her every move outside of the tower and JARVIS's scope. Control freak with a bag of blueberry snack bits.

Did he really think she was _THAT_ stupid?

Instead, Natasha opted to fly commercial, camouflaging herself between the peasants and just making it that much harder and irritating for Stark, should he choose to exert the energy, to keep tabs on her. Natasha may still be reeling from exhaustion, but her ego would never give in to Tony's tactics, even if it was for her own damn good.

Much to her relief, her flight of choice was a very early one. And given the distance of the Tower to the airport, and the mandatory check in time, she didn't have to be concerned of anybody pissing her off enough for another stabfest. "JARVIS, please tell Ms. Potts that I am truly sorry," Natasha requested to the A.I. She had grown rather fond of JARVIS in the past few months and felt he was the only thing around them that didn't deserve her wrath, well maybe not as badly as the others.

"Very well Agent Romanov. Any other messages for the rest of the team?" She shook her head, realizing that she wasn't anywhere near ready to talk to any of them, wether it be due to anger or shame. Steve really annoyed her all the time with this ignorance and inability to get social cues, but Pepper didn't deserve what happened. Pepper was the only SANE person in the house, they needed her alive, and she could actually cook. Regardless, Natasha needed to get away, needed to get out quickly.

"No, I'll speak to them upon my return, whenever that is." she concluded in somewhat of a murmur before sneaking out in true Black Widow fashion.

The flight was uneventful with only a slight bit of turbulence. The flight attendant had graciously supplied her with enough mini alcohol bottles to help will her hands to stop trembling. The illusion that she was shaking out of fear of flying was an acceptable mask that Natasha would wear on this flight. She was too tired to camouflage herself with any other front. But the root of her trembling was clear to her, she was losing herself all over again and she knew that she going to start crumbling soon. The perfect porcelain Russian doll had been stripped of her protective iron armor and her smooth texture had been cracking slowly and were spreading. Pretty soon she would shatter all around herself and Clint would come around to pick up the pieces and glue her back together.

But how many times can one glue back together broken glass before the attempt would be deemed futile? How long before you throw away the broken antique and replace it with another flawless doll that was polished and new? How many more times would Clint attempt to fill the hollowness of her soul, the void in her heart, with feeling and passion and love before he would abandon the act, and in turn her, due to the realization that that was exactly what she was: EMPTY.

She was a broken record, a merciless killer and had been trained to turn off her humanity for the sake of her destiny. She was the living warped version of the Grim Reaper, killing those that were deemed ready to die for their actions. Yet Clint saw something else, something more, something that was worth saving her for. He replaced the arrow that was meant for her chest with an invite to join him at SHIELD. She'll never know why he didn't kill her as he had been ordered to, or why she even accepted the offer, but she was here now.

And what did she have to show for it? She tenderized her captain's hand with a fork, had some weird warped eye sex with a demi God holding a plate of cookies and very harshly whacked and cracked the head of the ONLY sane person in the Avenger's Tower. And Clint was gone. Her heart was bleeding, she missed him so badly that it hurt to breath. She needed his arms to protect her from her own insanity, needed his lips to protect her from her nightmares. She needed him to protect her from herself.

The pilot's voice on the intercom brought her out of her destructive thoughts, and pretty soon she found herself disembarking from the American Airlines flight to a destination she hadn't visited in far too long.

And for good reason...

"Welcome to Costa Rica," the flight attendant kept repeating as the passengers got off the plane.

Settling into the hotel was quick and easy and Natasha found herself touring the familiar little shopping area with ease. She had spent many a time in Costa Rica with some friends in her past, and she strode her way to a restaurant she knew still held the same owners. She sauntered into the bar with her touristy white sundress and sunglasses to blend in with the rest. Attention to herself was something she wasn't planning on attracting. She was immediately recognized by a familiar face that gave her a shocked laugh.

"Natasha!" a voice exclaimed, and a petit brunette offered a hug that Natasha graciously accepted.

"Bianca, always a pleasure to see you." Natasha let out a deep breath at the embrace. She immediately found comfort in the petite woman she hadn't seen in far too long. After a moment they pulled back and Bianca scanned Natasha's body once over, her arms firmly on Nat's shoulders.

"It's been, what, 5 years?" Bianca gasped, "I haven't seen you since Budapest."

Natasha nodded. Yes, Budapest.

Bianca chuckled, her eyes shining with something that could be deemed as happiness, but still a little shock at sight of her current visitor. It had been 5 years.

"So, what brings you to Costa Rica? Don't tell me you are on your honeymoon with that hunky piece of man meat you are partnered with," Bianca teased, but Natasha's face suddenly grew a bit more serious, and Bianca understood that Natasha hadn't just wandered here to say was here alone and she was here with intent.

"Actually," her tone was soft and camouflaged, "I came to do a little shopping, like we used to."

Bianca's ears perked, the smile fading to a little smirk and an eyebrow raised.

"Well, I do love shopping." The comment was followed by a hidden chuckle that could be deemed as cynical.

Bianca led them to her private office at the back of the restaurant and locked the door behind her. Natasha took a seat as she scanned the room. Typical of Bianca, luxury electronics and leather furniture all around. She always did have good taste, _expensive _taste.

"And what kind of shopping are we doing today, the usual?" Bianca asked, her hands clasped neatly on top of her desk. Her eyes scanned the Russian with expertise she reserved for **"shopping expeditions"**. She knew Natasha very well, and she wanted to hear specifics from Natasha. Natasha shook her head, leaning back on the oversized leather chair she had sunk into. She didn't need to speak in code, and a pretentious attitude was also unnecessary, no, with Bianca there was no need for feigned small talk or beating around the bush. This is was business.

"Actually, I have changed my taste. I'm looking for lithium." Natasha's voice was calm and collected, her tone serious.

Bianca let out a hearty laugh. "Lithium? Seriously Natasha?" The laughing continued as she threw herself back against the leather chair. Natasha was unfazed at her reaction, she had somewhat anticipated such.

After she regained her composure, Bianca sighed loudly as she slouched deeper into the chair. "Look, you and I knew very well that lithium is not a good idea. With your job and that sexy man flesh you have in your web every night, lithium is the last thing you need." Though it was said through some strained chuckles, Bianca voice was serious and Natasha knew she was right.

Of course she was right, Natasha should know better. What the hell was she thinking? Coming into Bianca's restaurant as a SHIELD agent and wanting Lithium. Had she lost her damn mind?

"The usual then?" Bianca asked, a smirk on her face as she pulled out a shoe boxed size contraction that vaguely resembled some kind of music box. Natasha recognized that shoebox all too well.

Natasha eyes hardened, jaws slightly clenched.

"Fine. The usual. Heroin."

* * *

***For those unaware, lithium is a prescription medication you can get from a psychiatrist to deal with manic depression or bi-polar disorder. Its also used as a street drug but not as popular as the other drugs around, like heroin. **


	6. Chapter 6

**Title:** Not an addict  
**Author:** Sofia B.  
**Category:** Avengers  
**Pairing**: Natasha & Clint  
**Rating:** T to M (drug use and sexual situations)  
**Summary:** Thought the battle is over, not even Clint in bed with her can make her feel better.

**Note**: Based on a song by K's Choice. Emotional and full of anguish.

**Extra Note: For those who feel that Steve's stabbing and Pepper's near decapitation was a bit over dramatic, you will find that these acts play a critical role in later chapters. Thank you for the interest in this story.**

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing, nada, zilch.

* * *

"I'm telling you, she is dead," Tony said loudly through a spoonful of cereal, breaking the silence amongst the group during breakfast.

They all cocked their eyebrows at the notion, and Bruce was the first one to shake this head at the ridiculous thought . "It's only been 3 weeks. I'm sure she is fine."

"Nope, she's dead, I'm sure of it," Tony said, in a far too casual tone, swaying his spoon from side to side.

"Last time you thought she was dead, I won $50. Care to wager again?" Steve reminded him as he reached over to the counter to grab the pitcher of orange juice. Tony, not amused at the reminder that he was previously wrong, glared at Steve over the top of his laboratory goggles that seem to be permanently fused to his face lately.

"She's suspended from killing people and other than Barton and you fools, she has no friends and no place to go and she isn't here. So she's dead," Tony rationalized in a matter-of-factly tone, "I bet she hung herself."

Bruce was the only one to slightly chuckle. "And you gather that based solely on the fact that she refused to take your precious jet?" Tony threw Bruce the same look he threw to Steve moments earlier.

"A super assassin, might I add, a FEMALE, that refused to take a luxury jet to a luxury resort to enjoy some luxury time off at my expense. Yeah, uh huh, she went on a one way suicide mission. Steve pay up." Tony snapped his fingers, signaling for money to be placed in front of him.

"She doesn't need us knowing her every move and breathing down her neck Stark," Bruce said before turning back to his newspaper.

"Perhaps Banner is correct about Natasha wanting to be left in her solitude. Some time away from the battlegrounds is common practice on Asgard for therapeutic relief," Thor chimed in through a slew of pop tarts, to which Tony only rolled his eyes. The group will never cease to be amazed at how fond the demi-god had grown of something as obscure as pop tarts.

"Bullcrap. She is dead," Tony whined.

"Maybe she went to see Barton, assist on whatever he has to do," Steve offered, but Bruce couldn't agree with that notion.

"Nope, she's dead." Tony repeated.

"Doubtful," Bruce began, taking a sip of his coffee, eyes never leaving the New York Times. "Fury wouldn't allow her to go on official SHIELD missions after he suspended her, especially not if he found out what happened last night." His eyes narrowed on Steve's wrapped hand.

"For which he will not find out either," Tony sputtered with a full mouth of cereal. Everyone's ears perked at Tony's last comment.

"Wow, does the Iron Man actual show concern for a fellow Avenger? Careful Stark, people might actually think you care," Steve teased.

"The last time I gave a shit, it was in my diaper." He childishly stuck out his tongue at that, and Steve rolled his eyes in annoyance at the use of curse words. He always seemed to deem them unnecessary.

Thor still looked like he was deep in thought on the issue at hand. "The hawk is the only one that can console the widow. Perhaps a secret reunion of the two kindred souls?" he offered. Steve scoffed, seemingly offended by the comment.

"I highly doubt lack of sex would cause a woman to wreak havoc with a fork," Steve muttered, to which Thor gave a hearty laugh.

"Well lack of sex surely causes ignorance. You are oblivious to practically everything. Has the media approached you yet on being the poster child?" Tony ducked in time at the ice cube flying towards his face. "And it increases childishness."

"Must you insist on making my life a living hell?" Steve sneered. The assumptions about his sex life, or lack thereof, had continuously been a source for comedy amongst them and his personal life being put on blast was not something he was comfortable with. And that was the exact reason why Tony loved exploiting it.

"I don't think you are ready for that relationship yet," Tony said, a chuckle emitting from his throat causing Steve to groan.

"Sometimes I wish that shrapnel does pierce through your heart so that you finally shut up!" the captain barked.

"Oh yeah? I hope you step on a lego block in the dark!" Tony barked back. Thor was confused, but knew better than to ask at that moment what a "lego block" was.

"Oh, this can't be good," a voice called out. Tony nearly choked on a mouthful of cereal at the words, trying to stifle some coughs when he noticed that Clint Barton had walked into kitchen. Bruce, Steve and Thor looked up as well, a mixture of guilt and relief plastered across their faces. They were sure that Clint, just like Natasha, would kill them in a slow painful manner for gossiping about her.

After a 5 week stint in Argentina doing surveillance, Clint Barton had finally returned to the Avengers Tower. Clad in a pair of jeans and a black t shirt, the archer came back with a light cut on his forehead and a couple of bumps and bruises. Duffle bag, bow and quiver dropped on the floor, Clint made a beeline for the coffee machine, mumbling what sounded like "morning" somewhere along the way. Thor patted him on the back with a bit more force than humanly needed and offered him a pop tart.

Tony leaned back on the barstool as far as he could with his hands gripping the edge of the bar, his head craning painfully as much as he could to look at the hallway from which Clint had emerged, as if he was waiting for another visitor.

"Did you bring Natasha with you?" he asked, eyes searching for the redhead. Clint raised his eyebrows as he took a sip of hot coffee. "Um no, was I supposed to?" he asked, to which the other 3 guys bowed their heads and returned to their breakfast.

Tony raised his hands in exclamation. "See, I win, she's dead. Pay up," he ordered. Clint nearly choked on the black drink, and looked over at Tony.

"Explain. Now." he ordered, arms crossed his chest, eyes boring into the men around the table. The momentary silence was deafening until Bruce decided, since he is the only voice of competent reason in the group, to speak up.

"Natasha's not here. And we aren't sure where she is," Bruce stated, his hands fidgeting in each other. Clint took note of this. Bruce was a rational man, his fingers fidgeting could never be good news.

"We think she is dead," Tony spoke. "YOU," Steve corrected.

"Three weeks ago," Bruce interjected, and he cleared his throat to give himself a split second to properly word out his the following, "Natasha had a little tiny breakdown."

"She tried to kill us," Tony quipped, to which Steve gave him a warning look. Tony shrugged.

"SHE," Bruce corrected, also giving Tony a look, "had a setback in her mental recovery from whatever is ailing her. She lashed out." The last bit trailed off in somewhat of a murmur and he reached over for another swig of coffee.

Clint narrowed his eyes on Bruce. "What exactly do you mean 'lash out'?" His tone was patient, a kind of patience that Tony obviously never had a flare for.

"Well, there was an unfortunate incident with Steve's hand," Thor stated, to which Steve slid his hand off off the bar, and hid it between his legs. He turned somewhat red at the notion that he was beat up by a girl.

"She tried to maim him with a fork full of mashed potatoes." Tony was unfazed at the looks his interruptions were sending his way. He shoved another spoonful of cereal into his mouth. "And then she split Pepper's head open."

Clint looked at Steve, hoping to get some kind of assurance, but Steve was too preoccupied giving Tony a deathly glare which failed in comparison to Natasha's glares. By far. Bruce clearing his throat again returned their attention to the older doctor.

"Unfortunately Pepper tried to stop Natasha -," Bruce began.

"Causing her to nearly be decapitated," Tony interjected.

"Tony!" Steve grumbled. Tony looked shocked at the response. "What? I'm keeping him informed of the facts." He rolled his eyes dramatically before adding more cereal to the empty bowl.

"Those are not the facts," Steve pointed out.

"Are too!" Tony retorted.

"Are not!" Steve spat back.

"Sometimes I look at you captain and think 'really, that's the sperm that won'?" Tony challenged, and the words caused a new set of anger to surge to Steve's body, his injured hand balling into fists.

"What Tony fails to relay in an appropriate manner," Thor spoke, his voice louder, causing the children to stop bickering, "Is that we had an unfortunate event in which Natasha took out some anger on Steven and Pepper was caught in the crossfire." Bruce seemed relieved that he wasn't the only one trying to talk in a sensible fashion and nodded at Thor when their eyes met.

Clint, to his credit, didn't move or react to any of the bickering that was happening. He stood against the bar, taking in all and everybody's words. He was the hawk, he was ever patient and he knew it was better to take account of everybody's rendition before making a move. The room fell silent.

"So what happened after she nearly made you a one armed monkey?" Clint asked to Steve, breaking the uncomfortable shuffling that was currently enveloping the kitchen.

"Tony ordered her to take the jet and go somewhere to cool off," Steve stated. Clint nodded, and looked at Tony. "Did she?"

Tony, looking somewhat serious for the first time throughout breakfast this morning, took off the laboratory glasses and placed them alongside his cereal bowl. "She didn't take the jet, but we are certain that she got on a flight out of the US." Clint nodded, leave it to Tony to hack into whatever he needed to find some kind of answer to his questions. Natasha may have been good at slipping out unnoticed, that's what they were trained for, but Tony had proven time again that nobody is a match for his hacking skills.

"Do you have an idea where she would be?" Bruce asked, turning to Clint.

"Natasha is a big girl, if she didn't want you all to know where she went, then she had reason. If she needs help, I will know." His words were straight forward and lacked any kind of worry or concern, at least to rest of them. It dawned on the group, well probably not Tony, that Clint was probably right. Natasha was a trained spy and master assassin. If she truly needed help, she would turn to Clint and not any of them. Clint and Natasha shared an amazing bond that the rest of them had yet to understand, but respected on all levels. If Natasha was hurt, or dead like Tony thought, Clint would know and would be anything than the calm and collected person that was currently on his second cup of coffee.

"Bruce, you got a minute to give me a physical?" Clint asked, and Bruce nodded. Bruce had become the Avenger's their personal doctor and he took pride in the trust that he was bestowed with. That, and Clint had no patience for SHIELD medical protocol to be left in the infirmary for 2 days for "observation". They both left the room to go to the tower's medical ward.

"I'm telling you, she's dead!" Tony screamed out behind them.

Thor poured his 11th cup of coffee. "I really like this drink," he stated with an ear to ear smile. Steve smiled, pouring himself some orange juice before turning to Tony.

"$100 says you are wrong," Steve said. Tony smirked.

"You're on."

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So who is gonna win $100. Oh the suspense.

Now hit the little blue button and review!


	7. Chapter 7

**Title:** Not an addict  
**Author:** Sofia B.  
**Category:** Avengers  
**Pairing**: Natasha & Clint  
**Rating:** T to M (drug use and sexual situations)  
**Summary:** Thought the battle is over, not even Clint in bed with her can make her feel better.

**Note**: Based on a song by K's Choice. Emotional and full of anguish.

**Extra Note: To my anon. reviewer JAYMIE, please be so kind as to PM me some of your contact details if you are not a registered user. I attempt to keep in contact with those who follow the story :) **

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing, nada, zilch.

* * *

_SHIELD Agent Training Rule # 54 : Never, under any circumstances show concern, worry or fear in any situation. _

Clint's performance in the kitchen had proven that the SHIELD training had paid off. He was fairly certain that he convinced the other team members that they didn't have anything to worry about and that they could quit pulling out their hair and continue to berate Tony, that Natasha was al right. In all actuality, Clint was more worried than all of them combined, times 50.

If he wasn't preoccupied at the moment, he probably would have been down in the gym, beating the crap out of a poor defenseless punching bag. No doubt he would cause some damage to some of the equipment, blaming them, and probably himself for allowing the disintegration of Natasha to happen. And after he had broken some of his bones, he was to proceed to move heaven and hell to find his precious Natasha...so she could break the other bones that he had missed.

The sting of the anti-septic brought him out of his deep thoughts with a wince.

"Sorry," Bruce muttered, continuing cleaning the various blood dried scrapes around the archer's face and arms. Taking a deep breath, Clint closed his eyes and tried to remain still as he sat shirtless on the medical bench, hands gripping the sides tightly to maintain composure. Anybody else would find it amusing to see him in this state; a man that continuously puts his body through hell and high water, recklessly smashes through glass windows REPEATEDLY and goes toe to toe with various aliens on a more than regular basis, yet he winces like a baby at the touch of a little anti septic.

Though he forced his body to remain calm, a skill taught rigorously at SHIELD, it didn't take much for Bruce to notice that something was off.

"You are more worried than any of us, aren't you?" The doctor asked, one hand on Clint's back to straighten him out, the other hand with a stethoscope to monitor his heart rate.

After a deep breath by Bruce's orders, Clint bowed his head down, nodding a little. "Yeah," he murmured under his breath. He could confide in Bruce, be himself and bare his soul. Worried was an understatement.

"Do you really think she is ok, though?" Bruce prodded.

Clint let a heavy sigh fall off his lips before pursing them together and shaking his head. "No, I don't think she is at all."

A look that Bruce registered as shame was now plastered on Clint's face and Bruce was certain that Clint was internally beating himself up for letting Fury ship him off to South America. Even though Bruce had come to trust Director Fury, he still found it difficult to comprehend some of his decisions when it to came to Agent Barton and Agent Romanoff. Surely Fury didn't lack compassion to a point where he would willingly ship Barton off when his partner was clearly in dire need of...well that was the problem. Nobody knew what was really wrong and therefor they didn't have the slightest clue on how to help her. Bruce was silently praying that Clint had some kind, any kind of notion on what to do. The rest of them where clearly attacking the situation like a bunch of headless chickens.

It didn't take long before Bruce completed the thorough physical examination, and much his his surprise, Clint didn't have any serious injuries. "You didn't break anything on your body this time, walked away with only a few scratches and some bruises. What did you do, sleep through your mission?" Bruce awkwardly joked, hoping to ease the tension that was in the room. Surprisingly enough, Clint let out something that would be acceptable as a chuckle. The 2 of them had grown quite close over the past few months and Bruce was the only person Clint trusted enough to give him a physical. Clint had confided that he wasn't the biggest fan of doctors, something about it being unnerving that doctors called what they did PRACTICE. So Bruce would patch him up after missions, and wouldn't call in reinforcements until he deemed it absolutely necessary.

When Bruce turned to clean up the first aid kit, Clint pulled up his shirt and started to re-button it when he turned to his friend, he words itching to slip out.

"Tell me what really happened," Bruce turned to face Clint, a serious tone plastered on his face, "Minus the color commentating by Tony."

Bruce sighed, washing his hands and wiping them with a towel before coming to take a seat next to Clint. There was a moment of silence before Bruce spoke. It made Clint worry even more.

"When you left," Bruce began, placing his glasses back on his face, "She spent a good week barricaded in your bedroom. I checked on her vitals a few times when she was asleep and Pepper made attempts to get her to eat. JARVIS kept us informed if anything seemed physically wrong, well more than was obvious of course." The last bit trailed off into something slightly higher than a whisper.

Another short silence.

"At the end of the second week, Thor managed to convince her to join us for dinner. It was nice to see her again, she still looked like a complete wreck, but more human than previous weeks."

Clint's jaw clenched at Bruce's words. He remembered how frail and pale Natasha looked upon his departure, and it hurt him to know that he still left for Argentina in the state she was in. He didn't have enough time to plan his own torture, for Bruce continued talking.

"She seemed to be doing ok at dinner until Steve kept insisting she see a doctor. We tried to get him to back off, but he was persistent and called the doctor. Natasha snapped and stabbed Steve repeatedly and violently with a fork." Bruce gave himself a minute before continuing, giving Clint a chance to absorb all the information that he was being plagued with. He knew that it couldn't have been easy for Clint to live this out in his head, but he needed to hear the truth. It was the only way they could make a precise plan on how to proceed to fix it.

"Pepper tried to stop her, but when she touched Natasha, Natasha flung her arm back, - " Bruce began, but Clint interjected.

"Defense mechanism." Bruce nodded at the statement, and gave Clint a sympathetic look.

"When Thor restrained her, she looked...different. She didn't seem like Natasha. She was violent, uncoordinated. I don't know if it is post traumatic stress, insomnia, mental breakdown, I just don't know. Tony ordered her to go on a vacation, and the next morning she was gone. Its been 3 weeks." Having to retell the story seemed to have given Bruce a headache, and he removed his glasses, rubbing the bridge of his nose. A habit Clint noticed, that Bruce had when he spent way too much time thinking, or obsessing, over a particular thought. Bruce cared about Natasha's well being, and Clint appreciated him immensely for it.

It took less than a second for Bruce to realize that Clint was shaking, probably out of anger and he instinctively put his hand over Clint's clenched first, willing it to relax and release. The touch made Clint ease a bit.

"What do you need me to do?" Bruce asked.

Clint looked at his friend. As much as his ego was telling him to get on a jet by himself and scour the earth in search of Natasha, his instincts knew better, his heart knew better. The Avengers were a team, a mix matched group of dysfunctionally perfectly meshed together people that were there for each other, no matter what. They were the closest thing to a family that any of them where ever gonna get, and they were going to come together and save one of their own. Mutilated hands and cracked skulls would not stop them from searching for Natasha.

"Get Tony."

* * *

**Thank you all for the new alerts and reviews. **

**The next chapter will have classic Tony-ism that make us all giggle...or want to kill him. **

**Please review this chapter to let me know what you think. **


	8. Chapter 8

**Title:** Not an addict  
**Author:** Sofia B.  
**Category:** Avengers  
**Pairing**: Natasha & Clint

**Rating:** T to M (drug use and sexual situations)

**Summary:** Thought the battle is over, not even Clint in bed with her can make her feel better.

**Note**: Based on a song by K's Choice. Emotional and full of anguish.

**Extra Note: Sorry for the late update. I got promoted at work and its been HECTIC at work. By the time I get home at 6 pm, I take a shower and dive into bed. I hope you enjoy this chapter!**

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing, nada, zilch.

* * *

Tony was shocked that Bruce hadn't Hulked out and ripped everything, including them, apart at this point.

In had been 3 days and all the hacking and poking and prodding in electronic surveillance that they had no business being in, had proven futile. Scouring the globe, looking in every nook and cranny, and they end up with nothing. Their only success had been breaking Tony's world record for caffeine consumption in a compressed amount of time without dying and successfully getting Steve chocolate wasted to keep up with them.

And now after 72 hours, frustration had reached it's boiling point and Tony was hellbent on having somebody get hurt, preferably not him, to alleviate the stress and possibly for entertainment undertones. The patented Hulk-Inducer electric prodder would have come in handy right about now.

"We've gotta change our mindset. Obviously we are missing something," Steve mumbled into a cup of cacao. The captain was hunched over the make shift sofa in the "Super Secret Science Bro's" lab looking a little worse for wear. Truth be told, none of them looked anywhere near human, after all they had been at it for days with little to no sleep and they had ignored Pepper's orders to eat dinner. Well all except Thor ignored her. He ate like there was no tomorrow.

"We can't find her because she is dead." Tony replied a bit absentmindedly, his eyes and hands fixated on a screen depicting various flights and passenger lists. He waved Dummy away when the robot attempted to hand him some more coffee.

Steve rolled his eyes. "No, she's not."

"Two of the worlds' most brilliant minds, Bruce and I, cant track her down. The bitch is dead." His tone was put in a matter-of-factly tone, and it would probably unsettle every other person that was not in that room. But it was coming out of Tony's mouth, and rather then unsettle, it merely annoyed, most notably Steve.

"If you really believed she was dead, you would not use all this energy to do...," Steve lost his words for a moment, his fingers twirling at all the contraptions and holograms around the room, "whatever it is you call all of this."

"Brilliance is what "THIS" is called snookums," Tony retorted, still in a pretty blank tone, and it only seemed to fuel the fire of Steve's annoyance.

"If you really were so brilliant, you never would have lost track of Natasha in the first place!" Steve yelled, slamming his cup down on the coffee table and the action only made Tony roll his eyes.

"You are just mad I won. Its ok to pout, just pay me my $100." Tony snapped and then rubbed his fingers together, signaling that he was expecting a crisp Benjamin to be placed on his waiting hand, which earned him a room full of groans.

"My God are you always this immature?" Steve barked back.

Tony scoffed in mock offense, his palm on his reactor. "Immature is just a word boring people, aka YOU, use to describe fun people aka ME. Don't be hating."

Bruce growled in an unusual animalistic growl and what only could be described as an evil and eager giggle emitted from Tony's throat, who was practically jumping up and down excitedly at the idea of Bruce hulking out. He was disappointed when all he received was a disapproving look from Bruce which he answered with a pout.

"You two need to simmer down. I have very very little patience for both of you at this point." The demand came out a bit harsher than Bruce intended, but nobody could blame him under the circumstances. Exhaustion wasn't something Bruce, or the other guy, handled very well.

"He started it!" Tony pouted with a pointed finger.

"And I'm finishing it. Shut it and keep looking!" Bruce bellowed before bowing his head back into a rotating set of holograms. The outburst from the usually reserved and shy scientist had even shook Thor out of his semi-slumber.

"I fear that friend Stark might be correct of Natasha's demise." The demi-god's voice was low and calm, partially masked by exhaustion, but defeat was evident. The brief silence that followed was only sliced by the incoherent and frantic buzzing of Dummy zooming around giving everyone another round of caffeine goodness.

Tony shrugged, waving away the barrage of screens before him. "It's not really all that surprising," he muttered between sips of coffee. Thor seemed confused not particularly by Tony's words, but more so his tone and lack of emotion of genuine grief at the notion.

"Do you not fear that you might be correct?" Thor asked to which Tony shook his head.

"Is there anything that you do fear?" Steve asked, annoyance still evident in his own town. Tony shot Steve a unamused look.

"I fear becoming so awesome that the human race can't handle it, and everyone dies," Tony replied, his signature smirk adorned on his scruffy face. "But yet, I face my fear everyday like a boss," he added with a wink. Steve wished at that very moment that Bruce would just Hulk out and SMASH Tony a la Loki style.

However, before anyone could attempt to muster some sort of reply, one of the computers started beeping, causing everyone to suddenly be wide awake and alert. Bruce, who was closest to the beeping contraption, narrowed his sight before registering what was on the screen. By the time his brain had sorted the info, Tony was by his side, his eyes focused on the screen as well.

"Where's the bird brain?" he asked, arms folded over his chest.

"Up in his nest on the roof," Bruce replied.

* * *

Clint felt like jumping off the roof.

The past few days had been absolute torture for him. Days had been spent trying to find his beloved Natasha, and they were nowhere closer to any clue of her whereabouts than the day before. Every resource they had, both obtained legally and illegally, all obviously unbeknownst to Director Fury and the rest of SHIELD had been proven unsuccessful. None of the aliases Clint knew she used were traceable or led to anything. All of her known hideaways only to him were empty and he never had any lead or a scent on whatever trail she set herself out on.

Though he knew Natasha was resilient, far more than anyone dare give her credit for, he occasionally felt the stabs of fear coursing through him at Tony's bet. What if the idiot was right, what if Natasha was dead? Natasha was a skilled spy and master of disappearing. But the bond that he and her shared was strong, too strong to a point of indestructible. Natasha always left a trail for Clint that she knew only he would find and follow. The fact that there was no trail, no breadcrumbs to follow made Clint lose his breath every few seconds. The calm and collected hawk was slowly but surely turning into a frantic headless chicken.

He ignored the random drops of rain that were starting to dampen his flushed skin. Dejavu some would say, but the tables were now turned. Instead of the Black Widow, the Hawk was looking like the walking dead, un-slept and on edge and on the end of his patience with all of the other Avengers. Tony's other ear better beware.

"Not even the rain can get you out of your nest."

His ears perked at the statement. The voice was all to familiar and burned into the back of his brain. His head jerked up and turned, his sleep deprived brain trying to register the vision of the person in front of him.

And sure enough, the familiar voice was matched with a familiar face.

"Natasha," Clint breathed, his heart skipping a beat the sight of her.

Dark jeans, a black long sleeved henley and her beautiful curls hanging loosely around her face, a face full of color and life. And the most beautiful thing, a smile adorned on her face along with stars shining in her eyes.

Clint thought he was either dreaming or hallucinating. If Tony decided to play a trick on him with a hologram, he was definitely going to lose the other ear.

"Hi," she replied, a seductive smile crossing her face.

* * *

Hehehehe, and she's back. Then ext chapter will be sexually explicit. You have been warned. Evil Natasha is gonna be so much fun.

Please review.


	9. Chapter 9

**Title:** Not an addict  
**Author:** Sofia B.  
**Category:** Avengers  
**Pairing**: Natasha & Clint  
**Rating:** T to M (drug use and sexual situations)  
**Summary:** Thought the battle is over, not even Clint in bed with her can make her feel better.

**Note**: Based on a song by K's Choice. Emotional and full of anguish.

**Extra Note: Jagermeisterfest is officially over, I finally have time to recuperate a little from work and continue this. **

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing, nada, zilch.

* * *

"Hi," he managed to breathe out when Natasha stood in front of him, a soft smile adorned on her face, but he lost his breath again the second she bent down and caught his lips in a sweet kiss. A muffled mixture of a moan and a sigh escaped his throat at the feel of her lips on his, and in the back of his mind he was vaguely wondering if he had completely lost his mind and was drastically hallucinating.

Deepening the kiss, Natasha repositioned herself to straddle his hips. Now fully on top of him, her fingers tangled into his hair, her hands pulling his face closer to hers. Their rapid heartbeats pounding against Clint's chest made him realize that she really was there, really was on top of him, really was kissing him and the realization made his arms band around her waist and pull her even closer to him, if that was even possible.

They kissed tenderly for long moments before Natasha broke the kiss. "Hi," she whispered again, eyes closed and forehead resting against his. They stayed like this for a few moments before she cupped his face in her hands and placed a soft peck on his lips again. Eyes now opened, Clint's gray orbs scanned her face somewhat desperately.

"I'm not hallucinating, you really are here," he said, his own hands stroking the top of her head and face repeatedly. Natasha left out a small chuckle, nodding her head.

"Geez, was Argentina that traumatic?" she joked before Clint pulled her in for another kiss.

"Where the hell were you?" The demanding question came out sounding more worried than he intended, but at the moment he didn't seem to care. Natasha sighed, pushing her hips down for a little more comfort.

"I did what you told me to do. I went on vacation." Her answer was followed by a slew of kisses all over his cheek, and the action made goosebumps run all over his arms. The trail continued over to his ear, and the tip of her tongue traced the outline of his lobe.

"I couldn't find you," he replied, his eyes fluttering closed at her actions. He hated admitting to her that he was searching for her like a lost toddler in the playground, but lying to her was not in his to-do list. No, he would rather face her wrath for him worrying than for him lying to her, less painful punishment.

"Good, that was the point." She knew that her disappearance would annoy Tony, not for his concern but moreso for proving that Tony was not invincible in the technology world. The self-professed genius was probably spending every waking second searching for a an excuse now on why he couldn't find her. Her teeth sank into his earlobe.

"Natasha," her full name falling from his lips was never a good sign, neither was his hands on her shoulder pulling her away from him, "That's not fair."

"I needed some time to breathe, by myself without you or the 3 stooges and Shrek breathing down my neck," she replied almost instantly as if she was expecting the attack. Clint realized that she was right, and that for the first time she actually listened to him when he requested she go on vacation.

"But I am here now," she continued, a seductive glimmer flashing in her green orbs, a smirk on her full lips, "And my parts are in need of servicing." Her tongue traced the outline of lips causing him to shiver. Clint growled sexily before capturing her lips in a searing kiss. It was animalistic and rough, matching his desire for her at the moment. Natasha answered the kiss just as roughly, yanking his short hair harshly and pushing herself down on him hard. Her weight down on his erection was adding pressure to his groin, and he wanted her right away.

The random raindrops from earlier were starting to get heavier, and Clint knew that hard rainfall was imminent.

"Bedroom," he moaned as her lips attacked his neck. A groan was followed at the rolling of her hips into him. A sound of disapproval came from her own throat. "Right here, in the rain," she demanded before her teeth sank into his skin. He hissed at the little sting of pain that her teeth were causing, but he loved it.

"Just like in Tuscany?" he asked to which she chuckled. "Yes, and you are going to fuck me just as hard."

His brain nearly short circuited at her words. Oh yes Tuscany, dare he say it was the best sex they have ever hard with each other. Rough, animalistic and unapologetically damn near barbaric. Their need for each other was so strong that night in Tuscany. Yeah, and it was in the rain.

"What if the kids walk in?" he managed to moan when he hand slipped between them, stroking his erection through his jeans. The 3 stooges and Shrek did have "impeccable" timing ever since they all moved into The Avengers Tower. If Natasha was armed during sex, the rest of them would have all been dead a long time ago before her second orgasm hit.

"I made sure JARVIS wouldn't even let them onto this floor," she responded.

"You planned this," he teased.

"Oh yes I did," she seductively replied, her teeth now sinking into his lower lip and stroking him harder. His hips bucked up to meet her hand, and if it wasn't for his desire to keep her on top of him, he would have ripped the jeans off a long time ago. Their lips locked into another frenzied kiss and his hands slipped under her shirt and stole to her breasts, kneading the full flesh through her bra. She rewarded him by ripping off her shirt, allowing him better access to her skin. His teeth sinking in her nipples through the silk fabric made her head fall back.

She wasn't entirely sure at what point her bra was discarded, nor when it started to rain just a slight bit harder, all she was sure off was that her upper body was bare and that Clint's mouth was attacking her skin. His own shirt was ripped off his body, and her nails dug into his shoulder blades. His mouth sought hers again and their tongues danced for dominance, neither of them yielding to the other.

"I love it when you don't shave," she whispered agist his lips, his fingers playing with his 3 day stubble. "I know where you love it to be," he replied, nipping at her chin.

"Oh really?" she challenged. "Show me."

Rising to the challenge, Clint lifted them both up and with wrapped legs around his waist, he carried her to the edge on the roof and placed her to lay down on the rain soaked concrete. Her jeans and shoes discarded, she lay naked for him on the ledge, the rain drops falling from her body as soon as they crashed on her skin. He dropped to his knees, both of her legs flung over his shoulders. Slow and tender foreplay was not going to cut it tonight, this was going to be Tuscany part 2. His mouth latched immediately to her clit, sucking hard on the throbbing bud. Natasha moaned hard at the action, loving the way his stubble of a beard was scraping at her moist folds as his mouth was working expertly on her clit.

His mouth ventured ever so slightly south, his tongue darting into her entrance and sucking hard. Oh yes, this was just like Tuscany. Her moans were ragged, her hands pushing his head to go deeper, much deeper. He lapped at her ferociously, his arms around her thighs to pull her deeper in him. Fingers slipped into occasionally, his tongue traces and poked and prodded and soon Russian obscenities were falling mercilessly off her lips. He drank all off her juices hungrily when her orgasm surged through her, greedily sucking her for more.

"Fuck me now," she demanded, frustrated when he continued to suck her dry. But Clint didn't move from his position, and slammed her hips down when she attempted to move. "Damn it Clint," she groaned, but he still didn't move. Propping herself on her elbows, her head fell back when she felt a second surge going through her body. He wanted her to come again in his mouth, he was thirsty for more. The rain was falling harder now, and her hair was drenched, clinging to her face.

Rolling her hips, she practically rode his face, and her second orgasm exploded all over his face with a shriek and he happily swallowed it all. Breathing heavily, she gave him a sexy chuckle when he trailed his kisses up her stomach, around her breasts and back up to her neck.

"You done playing?" she asked, her hands fidgeting with his pants.

"I'm far from done with you," he huskily whispered into her ear, his hand wrapping around her throat. She smirked at that, licking her lips and stroking his now erection. He groaned at that, his teeth sinking into her shoulder blade hard. She hissed at that, her hand now fisting his erection and starting to pump.

"Harder," he ordered, and she obliged, adding pressure to her grip.

When Clint felt him reaching the edge, he picked Natasha up forcefully and turned her around, bending her over the ledge. Fisting her hair, he forced her down, her breasts squeezed against the concrete, his other hand pinning both of her against the small of her back. She wanted Tuscany, she was going to give her Tuscany.

They both screamed a little when he entered her from behind, and soon he found himself abandoning a steady rhythm and instead opted to pound her mercilessly hard, his pelvis smashing into her ass, pushing her harder against the concrete. She'd have bruises all over her in the morning, but she didn't care, this is what she wanted. Her knuckles were turning white trying to fight off his grip, but he wouldn't let her go.

The came simultaneously, his groan and her yelp only being noiseless over the shattering thunder above. The rain was falling down in buckets now, and they were drenched completely. Utterly spent, Clint released her hands and Natasha stood on shaky legs, now facing him.

"I love you," he whispered, her face cupped in his hands in the tenderest of kisses.

"I know," she whispered.

* * *

"Morning."

Four set of ears perked up at the sound of her voice, the chewing of cereal abandoned and spoons clanking against the bowl.

Natasha walked over to counter, pouring herself a glass of orange juice.

Thor, Steve, Bruce and Tony looked at her, eyebrows cocked and blank expressions plastered on her face. Well except for Tony, he actually looked annoyed at the sight of her.

"Good Morning." Steve was the first to reply, his eyes focused on Tony, who in turn, much to his displeasure, placed a $100 bill in Steve's outstretched hand, his eyes now back on his coffee cup.

"Welcome back," Bruce chimed in, and Thor gave her a smile and offered her a half eaten poptart.

"Thanks, I needed to disappear to find clarity. Clear my head." Natasha made the declaration without it being asked, saving them the awkward attempt they surely would have made to ask her how she was. Awkward meaning a way for them to ask without anybody being physically dismantled. Seeing as Tony, Steve and Pepper were already her test dummies, Thor and Bruce surely would have to get a turn, it was only fair according to Tony of course.

"I'm sorry for the way I acted the past few weeks," she concluded, an apologetic look glazed over her eyes. This was a momentous breakfast to say the least, none of them had ever heard Natasha apologize. Tony was convinced it wasn't in her vocabulary. Her eyes fell on Tony, who seemed the least pleased with her presence.

"You take all the fun out of hacking for your whereabouts," Tony said to her before turning on his heel and heading back to his lab.

* * *

**Hmm, why would Natasha actually feel the need to apologize? Oh the plot thickens.**


	10. Chapter 10

**Title:** Not an addict  
**Author:** Sofia B.  
**Category:** Avengers  
**Pairing**: Natasha & Clint  
**Rating:** T to M (drug use and sexual situations)  
**Summary:** Thought the battle is over, not even Clint in bed with her can make her feel better.

**Note**: Based on a song by K's Choice. Emotional and full of anguish.

**Extra Note: I appreciate the all people that have added this story to their alerts, but please also review the story. Frustration is growing at the lack of response. **

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing, nada, zilch.

* * *

The next 3 weeks were fairly uneventful, considering their lifestyle as of late.

It must have been summer vacation for the Bad Guy Agency, because not one threat had been made, not one building blown up, not one alien dared set foot on their radar. Maybe they had all been defeated, maybe they had all learnt their lesson and retreated to other realms, or just maybe they all realized that Natasha was back in town. Either way, the Avengers were all grateful for the rest and relaxation that had been given to them.

Much to everyone's surprise, Tony had not taken this opportunity to throw lavish, out of this world, and completely unnecessary parties at the Avenger's Tower to celebrate...well...himself. There was no mention of him flying everyone out to one of his countless mansions across the globe to party hard or spend quality time, or just anything. Tony had merely settled on uninterrupted time playing BOOM in the lab with Bruce. Steve had taken the time to venture off to Jersey and Connecticut on his motorcycle for some exploring, occasionally taking Thor with him. When not traveling with the captain, Thor had taken the time to understand human life with the help of JARVIS and wikipedia. And Natasha and Clint had resorted to having sex.

Lots of sex.

Occasionally they would stop for sustenance so that they had the energy to continue to have sex. There were some gym sessions and at some point she needed to wash her hair. But then they would go back to having sex, and after that more sex.

There were a few team gatherings of dinner or a movie in the communal living room that went fairly peaceful without any form of violence.

Fury hadn't cleared Natasha yet for active duty, and truth be told, she had no desire to go back to work just yet. Wether she would admit it or not, not even to the shadows, she was grateful for the time off. It had given her time to properly relax, get some sleep, some extra training and get back into the right mindset.

Even though it required the help of heroin.

It had started out innocently enough when she made her trip back to Costa Rica. She found Bianca and needed some drugs to help her relax and get some damn sleep. That was all she wanted. SLEEP. And it had proven effective, all the way back to Budapest. But then it felt too good for just sleep. And she needed more, and more. Just one more time then that's it, thats what she kept telling herself.

But it soon took over, and she was aware that she was letting the heroin have all the power. The only company she was having lately, was misery all around her. She was going crazy and went all psycho on all those close to her. And the heroine to her, was the only thing that was doing to save her from going crazy on Clint. Clint was the only one that knew her, felt her, had her. She needed to keep her cool, she needed to keep her sanity if she wanted to keep Clint.

The heroin was going to save her.

It was somewhere between 6 and 7 am, and the sun was starting to rise, peeking through the small slit between the curtains. The invasion of unwanted light had awoken Clint from his blissful sleep. He groaned softly but denied his body movement at the realization that Natasha was still asleep on his chest. Beautiful red curls were sprawled around his chest and face, her ear and cheek resting right above his heart. Her hot breath rhythmically dancing across his arm sent shivers up his spine, along with the rest of her naked body pressed up against his.

This was Bliss.

A sighed escaped her throat and Natasha shifted a bit when the light reached her own eyes.

"Morning," Clint mumbled, kissing the top of her head lightly. She returned the gesture by kissing his chest and grumbled something that sounded like good morning. It amused Clint, Natasha was clearly not a morning person.

"What do you want to do today?" he asked, his finger tips ghostly dancing over her arm, causing her to break out in goosebumps. In return, Natasha scooted her body closer to him,her leg tangling in his, their chests pressed against each other.

"Stay in bed," she mumbled, her eyes still closed.

"We gotta get up sometime sweety." Another kiss atop her forehead.

"No we don't. Fury hasn't sent us out on a mission," she retorted, her arm banding more tightly around him.

"Nat, we gotta get up." Clint insisted.

"NO WE FUCKING DONT!" Natasha snapped back.

Clint, completely taken back by her reaction, stopped stroking her arm and placed his hands on her shoulders, forcing her up to look at him.

"Excuse me? What the hell was that for?" he asked, his eyes searching hers. Natasha sighed, regret washing over her face.

"I just don't feel like getting up," she grumbled. Regardless of her own statement, Natasha maneuvered herself off of Clint and sat on the edge of the bed, reaching over to the floor for her nightgown. She threw his boxers on his lap and put her own nightgown back on. She contemplated getting up, but her heart told her to stay put, and instead her hands gripped the end of the mattress.

Now was not the time to lose her cool and blow her cover.

"Hey," Clint whispered, his hand reaching for her arm and rubbing in upward and downward motions. Natasha gave him a small smile when she turned to look at him.

"I'm sorry, Tony's been annoying me with his usual bullshit for the past few days," she lied. Her beautiful green orbs shot him her best apologetic look, and he accepted it.

"It's ok, I'm sorry," he stated. His brain immediately took notice when his fingers brushed over the inside of her elbow. Her skin felt like it had a few mosquito like bumps. Quite similar to repeated injections...

His fingers only lingered for a split second, and he continued stroking her arm, but Natasha instinctively jerked her arm away. She scratched at the injection site and followed by scratching numerous parts of her arm and shoulder.

"Yeah, we should get up. All this sex is giving me rug burn all over mister," she winked at him before making a beeline for the bathroom, but she heard Clint chuckle at her remark. There was a lot of sex in a lot of positions happening on that rug. "I'll meet you out in the kitchen for some coffee and pancakes," he called out. Natasha breathed a sigh of relief when she heard the bedroom door closed, confirming his departure of their quarters.

Damn it, that was too close.

Splashing cold water over her face, Natasha eyed herself in the mirror, shame washing over her. She knew that Clint felt the injection sites on the inside of her arm. She could feel the split second his fingers stopped over them. She could not risk getting caught, not now. Things were finally good again. She was hanging out with Pepper for quality girl time, and she hadn't maimed any of the others. Granted, she hadn't really spent any time with the others, but there was no violence. That was worth something right?

Reaching for her phone, she quickly sent a text message to Bianca.

_**Change in plans. No more injecting. I want to switch to snorting it. **_

Send.

* * *

**Oh oh oh, this is gonna be trouble. **

**Please review :) **


	11. Chapter 11

**Title:** Not an addict  
**Author:** Sofia B.  
**Category:** Avengers  
**Pairing**: Natasha & Clint  
**Rating:** T to M (drug use and sexual situations)

**Summary:** Thought the battle is over, not even Clint in bed with her can make her feel better.

**Note**: Based on a song by K's Choice. Emotional and full of anguish.

**Extra Note: I appreciate the all people that have added this story to their alerts, but please also review the story. Frustration is growing at the lack of response. **

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing, nada, zilch.

* * *

"Tony, can you lay off annoying Tasha please? It's starting to affect my sex life."

Tony sputtered into his cereal bowl at the statement that had infiltrated the kitchen.

He looked like he was running on 2 hours of sleep, which wouldn't be overly surprising, and his rustled brown hair did nothing to hide the surprise in his eyes, nor did his apparent hangover.

"Huh, come again?" he managed to squeak.

Clint, who made a beeline for the coffee machine, poured himself a cup of Joe before turning and leaning against the counter and greeting all others in the kitchen.

"Tasha snapped at me earlier and said you've been annoying her. Knock it off will ya," the archer replied. He was unmoved by the clueless look on the billionaire's face.

"How the hell am I annoying her?" Tony exclaimed, scratching the back of his head a bit.

"I think the better question is, how do you not?" Steve piped in, to which Tony gave him the finger. Steve seemed offended by the gesture, but still chuckled into his own plate of breakfast.

"Eat shit and die," Tony barked back at the captain. Thor seemed confused by the the statement.

"Why would Steven eat bodily soil? Aren't you humans of the belief that you are what you eat?" The blond God asked. Even Bruce who always sat at the end of the table with his newspaper, chuckled at the question.

"That's strange. I don't remember eating a sexy beast this morning with a side of awesomeness," Tony stated, his signature smirk on his features.

"Really, we have billshnipe here? Why was I not informed?" Thor replied, sheer excitement in his eyes. Seriously, what kind of IQ did they have up in Asgard?

"ANYWAY!" Clint interjected, "Can you keep away from her please? I'd like to continue having sex with all my limbs in tact."

Tony, judging by his facial expression, was still utterly confused by this. To his own credit, he had been extremely nice, in his own way of course, to everybody in the tower. Now wether that was out of his own choice, or Pepper's orders remains to be seen. With all the effort he had been putting into being not "Tony" he was insulted by the response his hard work was getting.

"You still haven't explained how I am supposedly annoying the crazy hoot," Tony defended, starting to seem annoyed himself at the accusation. Clint gave him a warning look at the term Tony used to describe Natasha.

"She said you were annoying her with the usual bullshit," Clint answered.

"Which is what, BREATHING?" Tony burst out, now actually starting to get angry. He growled and took another spoonful of cereal to his mouth.

"Don't get your panties tied up in a bunch, just leave her alone," Clint sighed, not really wanting to go into discussion about it. He knew that Natasha would get out of the shower soon, and he was in no mood to stop world war 3 in The Avengers Tower because Natasha got upset about them talking about her behind her back. Natasha wasn't the most patient person in the Tower and her fuse was far too short lately and nobody really had any desire to light any kind of fire under her ass.

"For the record bird brain, I haven't so much as looked at her for more than 2 seconds at a time since she came back and at most I've exchanged 10 words with her. I like the idea of keeping my other ear!" Tony stated. He pushed himself off the bar stool and headed towards his lab.

"And on another note," Tony said, turning on his heel to face to others once more, "I don't appreciate being blamed for you not getting any nookie. That is just sheer disrespect in MY house." With that he stomped his way back towards his lab.

Steve, Thor, Bruce and Clint where all left in the kitchen, somewhat shocked at Tony's reaction. Sure, Tony was usually the root of their problems, but he usually took pride in that and took every opportunity he could to shove it in their faces. Why wasn't he doing it now? Clint particularly took his words in much longer. Why would Natasha say that Tony was annoying her if in fact, he wasn't?

A familiar feeling was crawling up his spine, and he DID NOT like it one bit.

"Morning boys," Natasha greeted. Wearing a pair of jeans and a hoody, her hair was pinned up in wet curls. She graciously accepted the cup of coffee that Clint extended to her and rewarded him with a kiss on his lips.

"Where's your ringleader?" Natasha asked, pointing to Tony's abandoned bowl of cereal. Steve and Bruce shrugged, not wanting drama at 7 am. Both of them were still trying to properly wake up.

"The man of Iron has left the room so that his metabolizing of oxygen and expelling of carbon dioxide does not offend you as it has lately," Thor answered, a smile on his face between a pop tart. Bruce and Steve hid behind their reading material, not wanting to be the one that needed to explain to the explosive Russian what Thor meant. Honestly, somebody needs to shove that damn hammer down his throat to shut him up.

"He's in sleep, caffeine and sex deprived mode. Pepper is still away on business," Clint offered, relieved that she chuckled at the comment.

There was some aimless chit chat between the lot of them for the remainder of breakfast before they all scrambled about into their own directions. Bruce had rejoined Tony, who had barricaded himself in the lab. Steve decided to take Thor to the zoo to prove that there were no billshnipe on Earth. Clint and Natasha had retreated back to their own floor.

As Clint lay on the bed, aimlessly flipping through the channels, Tony's words penetrated his mind. Was Tony really staying out of Natasha's way? Truth be told, since Natasha returned, he had never really seen Tony and Natasha interact. Other than them being in the same room for dinner or a movie, they didn't exactly talk. Tony was working on something so intense and important in the lab that he really was too preoccupied to annoy anybody.

So why would Natasha say that he was? Was something else annoying her? Was she still stressed out? Or maybe, she was just lying to him.

She lied to him before, and he didn't like it one bit.

"Hey, I'm going shopping. Do you need anything?"

The question pulled him out of his daydreaming. Coming to his senses, he saw Natasha standing in front of him, a smile on her face. That smile was intoxicating.

"No, I'm good," he said. Natasha leaned down and planted a sweet kiss on his lips that sent shivers down his spine.

"And when I get back," the words whispered against his lips were causing an erection to form, "I want you naked and on top of me." She ended her request with a searing kiss and a firm cupping of his genitals over his jeans. He groaned into her mouth, and turned it into a whimper when she let go.

"I'll be back soon baby," she promised.

As she left the room, Clint groaned into his pillow.

He really hoped she wasn't lying to him.

* * *

**Thank you for the added support. I am not abandoning this story, but work has me tied up to a point where I can only write on Sundays. But rest assured, the show goes on! REVIEW **


	12. Chapter 12

**Title:** Not an addict  
**Author:** Sofia B.  
**Category:** Avengers  
**Pairing**: Natasha & Clint  
**Rating:** T to M (drug use and sexual situations)

**Summary:** Thought the battle is over, not even Clint in bed with her can make her feel better.

**Note**: Based on a song by K's Choice. Emotional and full of anguish.

**Extra Note: Thanks for all the reviews, they make my day. **

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing, nada, zilch.

* * *

Clint wasn't sure at what point he agreed to meet up with Thor and Steve at the zoo.

Initially, Clint rolled his eyes and declined when Steve called him begging for assistance after Thor bombarded him with thousands of questions ranging from species of all animals, to why the lion was considered King of all animals. Thor reasoned that billshnipe were in fact king off all species in all realms. Billshnipe rule all, even the Asgardians.

But after one too many BOOMS out of lab Smart Boy Inc. and JARVIS setting off fire alarms, Clint rolled out of bed and decided to join the lesser of the destructive Avengers on their little field trip. He figured it wasn't too bad of an idea; Clint actually enjoyed the zoo, well maybe just the specific Corn Dog stand at the Central Park Zoo. And besides, Natasha wasn't back from her shopping trip yet to keep him preoccupied and he wasn't in the mood for a solo work out session in the gym.

As he reached for his jacket, Clint's mind questioned what was taking his Russian beauty so long. Natasha wasn't one to recreationally "shop", she always was the "get what I need when I need it" type of woman. Granted, she was making an effort to keep her hot temper under control, and if shopping was what was going to help her, then by all means, he was happy to let her go.

Besides, Natasha didn't need a babysitter.

He cursed himself silently as he rolled into his jeans. Why was he fretting over her this much? Sure, she wasn't exactly right in the mind when she shot Tony, which even Clint will defend that Tony deserved it, but by no means was that reason enough for him to worry about her like a mother over a sick baby. Surely they had done worse, far worse at SHIELD.

Another, and this time Tower shaking BOOM snapped Clint out of his thoughts and he made his way outside before JARVIS could set off the alarms. If there was anything that annoyed Clint, it was bombs that were NOT set off by himself.

He opted to walk to the zoo; it wasn't that far from the Avenger's Tower and truth be told he could have used the work out. Other than the amazing sex, Clint had gotten really lazy since his return from Argentina. There hadn't been much training happening for any of them lately, not even Steve. Finally the idiots were actually using their downtime for downtime.

The streets of the New York were fairly busy on this Wednesday afternoon. The sidewalks were filled with people walking somewhat hurriedly to their destinations, impatience evident by those waiting at the stoplight to cross the street. Clint could never understand why people, ESPECIALLY those of New York were so damn impatient. Always in a hurry, never relaxed, the people of the city perplexed him. He appreciated the people that were sitting at the tables of the various cafes that were seemingly enjoying their time over cups of coffee and little pastries or light lunches.

He stopped dead in his tracks when his eyes fell on the brunette sitting by herself at a table at Cafe Dulce Vita.

"I thought I told you to stay the fuck out of the United States." His jaw clenched as the words slipped off his lips.

The brunette in question, unfazed by the harshness of the words, lifted her gaze from her book, a small smile crossing her lips at the sight of him.

"And I thought that animals were kept behind cages in the zoo." Her smile widened at the anger that flits in his eyes. "Hello Clint, it's been a while. I haven't seen you, since, was it Budapest?" She gestured for him to take a seat on the unoccupied chair in front of her, presumably to keep him from making a scene.

"What the fuck are you doing here Bianca?" The tone in his voice was harsh, harsh enough to attract some glances from the customers of neighboring tables and stopping a waiter in his tracks. It did not please Bianca at all.

"Is that any way to great an old friend?" The smile on her face now carried obvious angry undertones. Her hand again gestured to the empty chair, her eyes darting towards it. "Now why don't you be a good boy and take a seat before you attract even more unnecessary attention your way," she said, the smile never leaving her face. Clint, who's fists were balled painfully, stared her down for long moments before unwillingly taking a seat across from her. The smile on her face made Clint feel sick to his stomach.

"How have you been? Still as handsome as ever I see," Bianca stated, her book abandoned and hands now clasped on the table. Clint wasn't buying her sweet girl act, he knew her too well for that. And he would bet his life that at that very moment, Bianca would love nothing more than to painfully rip Clint apart, limb by limb.

"What the hell are you doing in New York?" Clint spat back, but in a much softer voice than his previous outburst. He was tense, his whole body was shaking with anger, and that made Bianca chuckle a bit. Getting under Clint's skin was always a skill she considered a valuable asset, especially when blackmail came in handy.

Leaning back in her seat, she crossed her legs, adjusting her glasses on the bridge of her nose. "For your information I am actually here on business, and decided to do a little shopping," she retorted. Clint scoffed at that.

"Your definition of shopping differs extremely from the average woman," Clint hissed, his nose twitching at the statement. he knew all too well what Bianca's "shopping" habits entailed. Budapest was her playground.

"Maybe," Bianca replied, her arms now folding over her chest, "Every woman differs in taste. Thankfully I have a few friends that have identical interest. Makes for fabulous shopping sprees." The evil giggle that escaped her throat after that statement was enough for Clint to want to snap her neck.

"I want you out of New York," Clint warned, his eyes deadlocked on hers. "Now." he ordered.

Bianca, not feeling the least bit threatened, laughed before taking a sip of her abandoned glass of wine. "Or what? Are you going strangle me and tie me up to a concrete beam of a half destroyed building like you did in Budapest? Clint darling, I'm not into your kind of kinky foreplay," she teased, her foot tapping his knee under the table. It took Clint almost all of his strength to keep him from breaking her kneecaps as an instant reflex.

"I'll snap your neck," he replied.

"Oh, that sounds like fun. I'm hoping that would be after dinner and a fabulous bottle of Chateau D'Arcole, preferably from a 2003 vintage," she giggled.

"Don't test me Bianca," Clint threatened.

"Then don't get in my way," she just as quickly retorted, the smile now washed from her flawless features, seriousness now plastered all over.

They stared each other down for a few moments before Bianca broke away, reaching for her belongings.

"As much as I enjoy torturing you with my presence, I have to go to meet up with an old friend." Placing her hand on Clint's fists, she relished the discomfort it raised in him. She placed some money on the table, she gathered her things before raising herself from her chair.

"Take care of yourself Mr. Barton. You are far too sexy to be that much of an asshole, especially to a lady," Bianca stated, before turning and taking a few steps. Clint had instantly stood up and watched her walk, but Bianca turned back to face him.

"By the way," she called out, her eyes locked on his again. "Is Natasha sleeping any better these days?" she asked, another laugh escaping her throat before turning on her heel and walking away completely.

Clint's eyes flared with anger.

She was sleeping alright, and now he knew why.

* * *

**Uh oh! So Clint now knows, or does he? What will he do when he sees Natasha? **

**Will he get his beloved corn dog at the zoo? **

**REVIEW!**


	13. Chapter 13

**Title:** Not an addict  
**Author:** Sofia B.  
**Category:** Avengers  
**Pairing**: Natasha & Clint  
**Rating:** T to M (drug use and sexual situations)  
**Summary:** Thought the battle is over, not even Clint in bed with her can make her feel better.

**Note**: Based on a song by K's Choice. Emotional and full of anguish.

**Extra Note: Thanks for all the reviews, they make my day. **

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing, nada, zilch.

* * *

The corndog had lost its flair today. There was no spark, no fireworks behind him as he chewed, no orgasmic facial expressions or moans of pleasure, just a corn dog. Tasted good though.

The encounter with Bianca had troubled Clint extremely. The mere sight of her had already caused his blood to boil, but her words, the venom that spewed from her luscious lips were enough for Clint to snap and break her into 50 pieces. But he couldn't, or better yet wouldn't, not until he got all the facts. Going all psycho without a second thought was Tony's forte, not the Hawk's. And after his last encounter with Bianca a la Budapest, Clint knew it was in everybody's best interest for him to keep calm and gather all the facts before he struck.

Because this time, if it came to that, he would strike, and he would strike HARD and leave no survivors. No, this was not going to end like Budapest.

His patience was both a blessing and a curse. But in this instance, especially where Natasha was concerned, he wasn't sure which was applicable. He was going to go with curse. Patience didn't necessarily mean that he was going to be nice about it.

Thankfully, keeping Thor preoccupied at the zoo had calmed him enough to seem normal. And the corn dog didn't hurt either, or 3 for that matter.

It had taken well over an hour, but Thor was finally convinced that there were no billshnipe on Earth. Not that it was a bad thing, Thor had always said that they were repulsive creatures, but they reminded him of Tony. The trip to the zoo was still very pleasant though, Thor was utterly mesmerized by the animals of earth, and corn dogs had become his new poptarts. Steve found joy in being surrounded by families that were enjoying family outings and Clint reveled in the fact that the concession stands at the zoo now carried beer. Lots of beer.

Somewhere between the duck pond and the baboons, Steve had convinced Bruce and Tony by phone to join them and by the time Thor, Steve and Clint reached the zebras, the science bros had appeared, beer bottles in hand.

"So, has Point Break found the secret lair of the billshnipe yes?" Tony asked, to which Thor shot Steve a questionable look. A panicked look washed over Steve's features, annoyance hidden beneath, and in the back of his mind he made a mental note to kill Tony in his sleep.

"Don't listen to him Thor. There are no billshnipe here," Steve stated through a forced smile and clenched teeth. A pleading look was now cast in Tony's direction, begging for him to stop. Steve was not in the mood to go through the entire animal kingdom again to convince Thor again of the truth.

"Not true!" Tony exclaimed. "What did you think we barbecued last night?"

Steve made a sound that could only be described as a growl. "It was steak from a COW! A normal earth bound COW!" Funny, Steve getting upset was like watching an oompa loompa get purple and about to explode.

Tony, who's gorgeous brown eyes were hidden behind his sunglasses, turned to look at all of them. "Who you gonna believe Thor? The man so outdated that he still dresses like a 12 year old," Tony started, pointing un-approvingly at Steve's attire, " Or me, the billionaire, genius, playboy-"

"Alcoholic," Steve interjected, referring to the beer bottles the engineer was holding at only 3 pm.

"Excuse me, I will have you know," Tony drawled out, feigning offense, "I'm not an alcoholic, I only drink 2 times a year. On my birthday and when it's not my birthday." An ear to ear smile on his face. Clint clinked beer bottles with him at that. Seemed legit to Clint.

Steve rolled his eyes. "Only cowards hide behind such sarcasm."

Tony shot Steve a look that was only reserved for the goody-too-shoe. "I hide behind sarcasm because telling you to go fuck yourself is considered rude in most social situations." Another swig of his beer followed Tony's signature laugh. Even Bruce had to crack a smile at the comment. Bruce by no means was anywhere near as "out there" as Tony, but he could never understand how any human being could be so honorable and innocent and dare he say naive as Steve. It was damn near annoying.

"But my dear Steve, you make me want to be a better drinker." The billionaire added for good measure.

"Are you humans always this childish?" Thor asked.

"Jury's out," Tony piped in.

Clint took that moment to break away from the pact, wanting to get some air and wandered off to the petting zoo. As much as he enjoyed the saga that was Steve and Tony, and for the record he was always on Team Tony, he wasn't in the right mindset at that moment. Bianca still lingered dangerously in his thoughts. Her words echoed painfully and horrible images and memories flashed before him.

Natasha snorting lines, Bianca pouring champagne down his beloved Russian's throat, and Bianca slipping her hand down his...

"You ok buddy?"

The intrusion of Bruce's voice shattered Clint's destructive thoughts, and he was grateful for it.

Clint sighed, and offered some kind of an embarrassed chuckle at being caught looking lost. "Yeah, I'm fine. Just wasn't in the mood for War of the Words with tweedle dee and tweedle dum today."

"You know, you and Natasha are HORRIBLE liars." Clint's ears perked at Bruce's words, and when their eyes locked, Clint could tell that Bruce was serious. Bruce decided to elaborate before Clint could even ask, or make up some other lie to cover some tracks.

"I mean, I can deal with Natasha lying to my face everyday. I don't even recognize her anymore. But not you Clint. I'll be damned if I will let you lie to me." Clint said nothing, and continued to gaze out in front of him. Bruce was not overly pleased by this.

"Look," Bruce began, joining Clint in leaning against the white picket fence that held the petting zoo together, "I've spent many years hiding from everything and everyone in the slummiest places on earth, my entire life was a lie for the sake of survival. And your lies smell worse than the barracks of Calcutta." Bruce hoped the last bit would make Clint smile a bit. It did.

"So what's wrong?" the older scientist enquired, offering the archer a fresh beer that he bought from the stand before he started stalking Clint's whereabouts.

"You want the long version or the short version?" The beer felt great going down his tense throat.

"Whichever way you will give me." Bruce offered him a moment to collect his thoughts.

Clint sighed and pressed his lips together before bowing his head down to lock eyes on his feet. He was grateful that the white picket fence was offering him support. Bruce was his friend and his confidante, and at this point he'd sooner trust Bruce with his life than Natasha. That realization stung extremely.

"On my way here, I ran into an unpleasant person of the past that caused almost irreparable damage to Natasha. And now I think this person's presence here logically explains Natasha's odd behavior lately." The confession to Bruce felt like his own arrows were piercing through his skin, and he had to keep from clenching his teeth too hard, or else he could have broken his jaw. He probably would've welcome the pain though. Natasha's apparent betrayal was almost too much to bear. But Clint knew he had to keep it together, flipping out was not an option until Natasha could positively confirm the worst. Then all hell can break loose.

Hell hath no furry like Clint Barton pissed off.

"Against my better judgement, and to ease my conscience I let this person live. Im starting to think that was a very stupid decision," Clint added. He scoffed to himself and turned around and leaned forward, his elbows now resting against the fence, his gaze half focused on the goat that was approaching him in hopes of treats. As always, Bruce to the rescue, a bag of corn in hand. Always prepared, that Bruce Banner. Tony always kept him around for good reason.

Bruce noticed how Clint was clenching the beer bottle almost painfully, and he knew it was only a matter of time before the glass would shatter right there in his hands. Not a good idea for an archer who's hands were just as valuable as his eyesight.

"I am so fucking angry!" Clint blurted out, startling the goat a bit and it shied away from Bruce's open palm of corn.

"If this is like last time, I am not sure which one of their throats I want to wring first." The threat was one that surprised Bruce, partly because he never thought Clint could ever think ill of his beloved Natasha, but mostly because Clint never really spoke of torture for anybody. Clint was somewhat of a noble assassin. He avoided killing unless absolutely necessary and if killing was in the books, he did it quickly and efficiently. Clint always felt that death should be quick and painless, even for those who deserved it.

Bruce gave Clint a sympathetic look. "Clint, holding onto anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die. You cant live your life like that, it will kill you slowly and painfully."

"But you're angry all the time. Is that how you feel about the Hulk?" Clint questioned his friend, hoping desperately that the older of the human bunch had some kind of answer for him. To his disappointment, Bruce only offered him a half hearted shrug.

"I have a love-hate relationship with the other guy," he stated after a short silence. "But my anger is what keeps me alive, because its the other guy's lifeline." The goat has since returned and nibbled on the treats that Bruce's fingers were offering. The tickling of the animal caused Bruce to smile. Clint was certain that only him, and possibly Tony were the only people to see Bruce in such a state; peaceful, smiling and seemingly content in life.

But Bruce, off all things reeked of loneliness. And Clint actually understood now why.

"My anger, though the reason I am still alive, is a long lonely one way road buddy." Bruce's statement was not drowned in a sorrowful tone, nor was it seeping with hatred or resentment.

"I envy you, Thor, Steve and even Tony," the last part made both of them chuckle. "Jane, Peggy, Pepper, Natasha, those feelings you guys carry for your women are ones that I am unable to experience anymore."

Numerous goats had now gathered around both of their filled hands. Some bunny rabbits joined the bunch.

"Don't end up like me Clint. It's not worth it," Bruce concluded. The two men locked eyes, and Clint saw genuine concern and friendship within Bruce's be-speckled orbs. Bruce was a true friend. No words needed to be said, the silent thank you's were evident in the nodding of their heads.

Their prolonged silence was interrupted by Tony's voice, who at a distance was explaining to Thor how Steve and the disgusting baboon who was picking at his butt and eating whatever came out of it where most probably directly related with similar IQ's.

Clint and Bruce both had to laugh at that.

"So how about you give me the long version?" Bruce firmly stated, abandoning the animals and dropping himself on the park bench.

Clint followed suit with a heavy sigh.

"A mission went terribly wrong in Budapest..."

* * *

**I hope you all enjoyed the longer chapter. The next chapter will feature Natasha, but I needed to emphasize on the friendship the guys have with each other before we get to the explosive confrontation.**

**Thank you all for the support, greatly appreciated. **

**REVIEW**


	14. Chapter 14

**Title:** Not an addict  
**Author:** Sofia B.  
**Category:** Avengers  
**Pairing**: Natasha & Clint  
**Rating:** T to M (drug use and sexual situations)

**Summary:** Thought the battle is over, not even Clint in bed with her can make her feel better.

**Note**: Based on a song by K's Choice. Emotional and full of anguish.

**Extra Note: Sorry about the delay. Tropical wave over the Caribbean have made life a little hectic on this island. This chapter was written as the rain and lighting came pouring down.**

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing, nada, zilch.

* * *

Natasha was getting extremely annoyed. Natasha was getting sloppy. Natasha was getting annoyed because she was getting sloppy.

Natasha is in trouble.

She was starting to believe that switching to snorting wasn't exactly the smartest idea. Injecting heroin was simple and easy; in the world of heroin injecting provided the greatest intensity and the onset of euphoria happened rapidly, as in 8 seconds.

Snorting had a relatively slow onset that took 5 to 8 minutes to get to heaven and another 10 to 15 minutes to reach its peak. Then it took forever to come down.

It took forever for her to put her face back on and get back home.

She had left Clint a little after breakfast time, closer to brunch to be exact, and told him she was going "shopping". She momentarily had felt guilty about the lie, but then it dawned upon her that she wasn't actually lying. The dictionary defined shopping as the act of examining and buying merchandise. And she was going shopping at Bianca's, she was going to examine and buy the merchandise that Bianca provided, and in this case it was heroin. She she really was going shopping.

The lies made her sleep better at night.

But after the meet up and the heroin trip that was now being snorted, it was 8 hours later that Natasha finally had enough clarity in her mind to go back home and act normal. Well, whatever normal for an avenger meant that is.

Covering up her tracks was becoming harder now, so to save her own skin, Natasha actually hightailed it to the mall to do some conventional shopping. Grocery shopping had actually crossed her mind, but that was her excuse two days ago. Coming home with another car load of groceries would surely raise suspicion, and truth be told, she could use a new pair of boots and a pair of heels and possibly a new dress for some gala that Pepper was organizing.

A few too many swipes of her credit card later, Natasha came home a little too late for dinner with a barrage of shopping bags and a few minutes before the rain came pouring down. Odd weather at that time of year, but a little rain never hurt anybody.

"Sex in the rain part 2," she mused, a sexy grin crossing her face as she made her way up the stairs to the kitchen. Lust flared in her loins at the idea of Clint stripping her naked and forcing himself in her from behind bent over the railing.

The kitchen was inhabited by all half of the troupe. Steve was washing dishes, while Tony and Thor were discussing the possibility of replicating Thor's beloved hammer.

"Strictly for scientific purposes of course," Tony defended when Thor's face seemed skeptical at best.

Thor had adjusted to human life considerably well, his style of clothing fitting him to a tee. The blue jeans hugged his hips nicely and he switched between regular plain dark colored t-shirts and t-shirts under a buttoned down shirt that stayed open. His hair was now pulled back into a low ponytail, completely different from his rather ridiculous battle gear. But in the end he still had his mysterious sexy smile and sultry gaze. She remembered that night when he told her she was beautiful and kissed the back of her hand.

Natasha could swear her panties got wet when Thor turned and smiled at her when she entered the kitchen. Clint who?

"Natasha, you missed a wonderful adventure to the land of the caged animals," Thor greeted her, a proud smile on his face. Natasha arched an eyebrow up and looked at Steve who mouthed "zoo" secretly in her direction. She chuckled at that.

"Cool, did you meet Tony's relatives?" Natasha teased, surprisingly not in a malicious snarky tone.

Tony shot her a non amused look. "No, but he did meet your sisters in the baboon cage," he retorted in his usual tone. To his surprise, no death threat was thrown at him, nor was a dagger thrown. Not a single word. Instead something very odd happened. A noise echoed through the kitchen that Tony had to do a double take to make sure he was hearing correctly.

Natasha giggled.

"Enjoy your evening boys." And with that she made her way to her quarters in the Tower. Tony raised his eyebrows at that.

"That was odd," he thought before turning back to Thor, trying blackmail now for the specs to the hammer.

* * *

Natasha was anxious to get back into her room. Her plan was simple: Rip off her clothes, rip of Clint's clothes and fuck each other senseless for hours on end in the rain until the sun came up.

Step 1: Enter room.

"Baby, I hope you are naked like I specified this morning," Natasha called out as she entered the room. It was dark, the lights were off and the curtains of the balcony door were drawn for the most part. Moonlight still shone through, illuminating the room enough to show the outlines of all the furniture.

"First things first, I want you in my mouth," she seductively teased, pulling her shirt over her head. She turned around abruptly when the light on the nightstand turned on. The sight of a fully clothed Clint did not amuse her one bit.

"I thought I demanded nakedness." Her hand on her hips, feigning anger.

Before her sat Clint in the one person seat, elbows on his knees, face atop his clasped hands, pensive look across his handsome features. Natasha paid no heed to the displeased observation he was giving her.

"How was your shopping trip?" he asked, his anger masked with a fairly platonic tone. Natasha shrugged as she unbuttoned her jeans and impatiently shoved it down her legs. "Fine, took forever to find a dress for Pepper's gala," she replied. Natasha's tone was far too casual to be true, and it angered Clint even more.

Clint hated being lied to.

Now clad in her sexy lace black panties and matching bra, Natasha seductively sauntered her way over to Clint, stopping right in front of him. "Hi," she whispered, bumping her knees into him. Clint didn't move from his position, he merely looked up to gaze upon her. He wondered how deep in she was at that moment, how many hits she was taking a day too keep herself happy, how much make up she was using to mask the evidence on her face. Natasha was a professional, Clint of all people knew how good she was at hiding.

"Picked up anything you liked?" he asked. Natasha nodded and forced his clasped hands apart, straddling his hips.

"I think I just did." She laid a soft kiss on his lips before trailing off to his cheeks.

Clint took in a deep breath, trying hard to keep his cool. "Gather info before you get angry," he kept telling himself.

"You've been gone all afternoon, you missed dinner," Clint stated. it didn't even affect him when Natasha rolled her hips into his crotch. She moaned a little into his ear. "I picked up something with a friend I ran into, lost track of time," she defended, pushing herself down further into him. Her lips attached to his neck, nipping and sucking softly on his silky skin.

Clint sighed, he wasn't going to play this game with Natasha. They were too old for that. he was going to go in for the kill, because he was growing angrier by the second.

"So who is this elusive friend of yours? Somebody I know?" Clint continued, secretly hoping Natasha would just come clean. He knew better though, she wouldn't, not even if her life depended on it. That was how strong she was, and it annoyed it severely.

"No," she breathed, biting on his shoulder.

"Stop lying to me and just tell me you are coked up," he murmured, pulling away from her mouth.

The kissing stopped. "What?" Natasha asked, her face lifting to meet his eyes. She chuckled a bit, assuming she was in a delusional state of hearing, and in the back of her mind she told herself to kill Bianca for getting her this high. Delusions were her least favorite part of getting high.. "Did you get high off of cow manure at the petting zoo with the Brady Bunch?" she teased, fiddling with his belt buckle. When his hands harshly grabbed her wrists to stop her actions, her body tensed and she locked eyes with him again.

The seriousness in his grey orbs scared the living shit out of her. "Probably not as high as you."

Natasha panicked. He was on to her, Clint knew her too well. She immediately forced herself to stay calm and took in a deep breath. She was the Black Widow, and nobody overpowers the Black Widow, not even the love of her life.

"What the hell are you talking about?" she retorted, trying to sound offended by his actions. "I'm not high." She tried not to gasp when Clint harshly grabbed her face with his hand, forcing her eyes closer to his. "Don't lie to me," he hissed, searching her eyes for tracks.

Instinctively, Natasha whacked his arms away and pushed herself off of him. Stomping her way to the bed, she grabbed her jeans and started to dress herself. Her near frantic actions made Clint's jaw clench. It took every ounce of strength he had to bite his tongue to give his mind a few extra seconds to thoroughly and properly word out his thoughts.

"I ran into Bianca today, she said she was "shopping" with a friend. You and I both know what Bianca's kind of shopping is," Clint managed to word out. Natasha froze.

Shit.

"And because she is in New York, you automatically assume she is here for me? She is a United States citizen Clint," Natasha managed to respond, albeit not in a confident voice she was aiming for. She angrily put her shirt back on. She needed to think quickly if she was going to save her ass.

"Natasha." His clenched teeth and forced tone was not making it any easier for her.

"And you guys really really are a piece of work," she continued, fidgeting to reposition her shirt. "You tell me to go relax to curb my anger, and when I do you turn around and tell me I am high on drugs. What the fuck do you want from me?" she exclaimed. Her own anger was starting to rise as a defense mechanism and she felt as if her head was about to explode. She needed to think quicker.

"Tasha, please tell me you aren't high," Clint repeated, anger still evident in her voice.

"I try to please every one of all you by doing things I absolutely don't like, like buying a dress for Pepper's bullshit and it still isn't enough!" she continued.

Clint had enough, she was avoiding his question and he was losing his patience. The hawk, the ever patient hawk had reached the end of his rope.

"Natasha!" Clint bellowed, grabbing her and slamming her entire body harshly against the wall. Her head bounced with a thud against the concrete, and she bit on her lip to suppress the grunt of pain when Clint pushed her shoulders hard again, pinning her against her will. "Are you or are you not back on cocaine? And don't lie to me or so help me God I will snap your neck!" Natasha's eyes widened. Never had Clint yelled at her in this tone of voice and never had he hurt her body so.

But more importantly, he gave her the perfect opportunity to cover her tracks.

A single tear rolled down her cheek. "I'm NOT doing COCAINE." Both breathing heavily, it took Clint a moment to release his painful grip on her shoulders. Her eyes answered the truth to his question. She was in fact not doing COCAINE.

"You love the fact that you didn't lie, but didn't tell the truth either eh?" the little voice in the back of her head taunted her.

"Tasha," he whispered, anger vanishing and hurt and regret now seeping his entire body. Before he could think, Natasha pushed him away roughly, and reached for her bag.

"Baby please," Clint called out. But Natasha didn't stop. With that, she left the room and presumably the house.

Clenching his fists, Clint punched the concrete wall, breaking the skin of his knuckles.

Though he got the answer he wanted, he knew that whatever the situation was, he had just made it much much worse.

* * *

The rain had completely drenched her when she entered the bar.

Her usual bouncy red curls now clung to her face, but thankfully her jacket had protected the rest of her body. Not that she cared how she looked at the moment, all she wanted was a drink, or 12, and to forget about the event that just happened.

"Screwdriver," she ordered and took a seat on the empty bar stool of the somewhat hip New York bar she found herself in.

Lost was the only word that could describe Natasha's feelings at the moment. Was she experiencing some kind of heroin trip, or did Clint really just manhandle her? The pain in her head and shoulders suggested the latter, but Natasha couldn't be too sure. She wasn't sure of anything anymore and it scared the living shit out of her.

"Rough night?" a voice asked.

Natasha looked up to find a handsome young man with chocolate brown hair standing in front of her, a drink in hand offered to her.

"You could say that," Natasha mumbled, but surprisingly enough letting him take a seat and accepting his drink.

"Natasha," she introduced herself, extending a hand to him. The young man smiled back, taking her hand in his.

"Peter Parker."

* * *

**OH YES, I went there :)**

**Please review to let me know what you think **


	15. Chapter 15

**Title:** Not an addict  
**Author:** Sofia B.  
**Category:** Avengers  
**Pairing**: Natasha & Clint  
**Rating:** T to M (drug use and sexual situations)

**Summary:** Thought the battle is over, not even Clint in bed with her can make her feel better.

**Note**: Based on a song by K's Choice. Emotional and full of anguish.

**IMPORTANT: I had an unfortunate accident at work at the beginning of August where a pallet of Caprisun (210 cases) was dropped off the pallet jack and smashed my foot (I work for the second largest distributing company on this island). I broke 2 toes and am possibly having them amputated. Obviously, I am not happy about this and am having trouble digesting the possibly loss of my limbs. I will try to update as much as I can, but if amputation is inevitable, I will be gone for a while. Thanks for the support.**

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing, nada, zilch.

* * *

"_**I'm so high, I can hear heaven, but heaven don't hear me"**_

It was around 4 am when Natasha stumbled back into Avenger's Tower.

The rain was still pouring outside, the droplets smashing against the glass walls like bullets from her beloved guns. The thunder roared louder than Thor's mighty laughter and the blinding lightning could put Tony's arch reactor to shame. But the current weather was nothing compared to the storm that was raging down on her heart. Yet she refused to let her tears fall down in unison with the teardrops from the sky above.

Though the hour was late, the Tower was not entirely silent as she had hoped. Over in the den, Thor and Steve were passed out on various couches, some DVD on the menu screen and judging by the light down the stairs, Bruce and Tony were probably still in Science Bro's lab. She half expected to hear BOOM before she made it to the bedroom.

The bedroom...her bedroom...Clint's bedroom.

Her encounter with Clint hours prior still lingered dangerously fresh in her mind and the logic that she was trying to choke out of her brain told her that the pounding headache she currently carried was due in fact to Clint slamming her skull ungracefully against the concrete wall, and not the endless waterfall of vodka that Peter Parker was pouring down her throat. Her subconscious was secretly hoping for the latter to magically be the real reason for her physical discomfort, both of her head and the burning yearning sensation between her legs.

Why she didn't drag the ruggedly handsome yet dorkishly adorable Peter Parker back to his hotel room, she'll never understand. Well, that was a lie. Clint was the reason she didn't have her way with the mysterious visitor but her anger towards her lover was weighing down on her logic and her heart.

Deep down, the russian part of her wanted to act out her anger to get back at him. Get back at him for bruising her body so, for threatening her with harsh words, but most importantly, for making her lie to him.

She had no choice, she kept telling herself that to shut that little devil on her shoulder up. She had to lie to Clint, had to lie to the face of the one man that loved her so deeply he'd die for her. She was the Black widow after all, and lying was her defensive mechanism, her way of survival.

Somewhere in the back of her mind, she made a mental note to cut Bianca's fingers and toes off one by one with a dull pocket knife. The vodka was speaking to her now, explaining to her that Bianca purposely ratted her out to Clint out of pure amusement. Bianca was vindictive like that, finding joy in wreaking chaos wherever she goes.

We all remember what happened the last time the three of them were together in Budapest. Oh yes, Natasha remembered all too well. "Pulling Bianca's eyeballs out of the sockets with a spoon will be a nice finishing touch," Natasha thought.

Halting at the end of the kitchen, Natasha contemplated in which direction her aching feet should drag her. She could easily slip into Thor's room and envelope herself in the ridiculously huge bed made for the God. She knew Thor was out like a light once his snoring echoed through the den. The guest bedrooms were just as comfortable and completely useless to the rest of the world and silently she had a proclivity for napping on the patio furniture on the roof.

Or she could just march herself to her room and more likely than not, Clint would be sleeping in bed, albeit lightly, waiting for her.

The silent moments of contemplation caused the rain drops to slide off her body and pool around her feet. With a deep breath, she decided to make her way to her own quarters. She would either fight or fold with Clint, either one was bound to end in amazing sex.

Clint's ear perked at the sound of the door clicking open and shut. His grey orbs adjusted to the dark, and he spotted the familiar figure that was Natasha making her way across the bedroom. Breathing a sigh of relief that she was seemingly in one piece, he watched her as she sat on the edge of the bed to remove her boots. Clint was all too aware of how Natasha takes out her frustrations when she is angry at him, and more often than not she required stitches or at the very least a SHIELD protected alibi. The boots fell with a thud on the floor and it took all of his willpower to not sit up right and wrap his arms around her tightly and beg for her forgiveness. Screw his manly pride. He had beaten the shit out of his pride all night in the gym upon her disappearance for hurting her.

But Clint knew better, he knew Natasha all too well, and bombarding her with emotions and apologies was not something that worked for her. No, Natasha needed space, she needed room to breath and collect her thoughts and emotions by herself. So instead, he clenched his fists to keep himself from throwing his body at her mercy. Another deep breath as she raised herself off the bed and headed towards the bathroom.

"Natasha." Her whispered name slipped off his lips before he could stop himself. Stopping at the door, she barely turned her head towards her shoulder, but acknowledged his callout. He wasn't prepared for that.

"I'm so sorry." Sincerity overlaid with heavy shame echoed through both of their ears.

Without a word, Natasha turned back to the shower and locked the door behind her.

With the click of the lock, Clint's heart shattered. She locked a door behind between the two of them, creating a wanted barrier between their bodies. She locked him out of her space. Groaning loudly, his head fell back on the bed, hands fisting in his spiky blond hair. He knew he screwed up big time, and his ego told him that fixing would not come easy this time. But honestly, superheroes or not, how do you fix accusing your girlfriend of doing cocaine?

Natasha and Clint had been in many crossfires during the course of their relationship. Granted, it had made them stronger, but not without an all out battle to the near death. Natasha was inhumanly stubborn and Clint was ignorantly stupid, but both equally capable of killing each other.

Clint was too busy wallowing in self hatred to notice when Natasha emerged from the bathroom, presumably haven taken a shower. Without a word, Natasha slipped into bed and straddled Clint's hips, her petit hands cupping his face. Surprise overtook his body instantly when Natasha lowered her face to capture his lips in the sweetest of kisses. Soon enough he came to his senses and intensified the kiss on her demand, his arms banding around her waist.

"Natasha," Clint whispered against her lips when she pushed down on his growing erection. Groans of pleasure emitted from his throat when she forced her tongue into his mouth, dominating his own tongue.

"Tell me you love me," she softly pleaded, her fingers running through his short hair. She followed her plea by rolling her hips, grinding into him hard. Clint was finding it increasingly difficult to keep his composure, and it took a lot of energy to keep himself from flipping her over to taking her roughly right then and there. His lust for her was like a growing fire and every kiss, every caress, every flick of her tongue, every whisper of a sexy sexual request kindled that flame to burn brighter and brighter. It burned like a wildfire in his loins and he wasn't sure how much longer he could hold out.

"Baby," he raggedly breathed, his fingers digging into her hips when she reached down and pulled his boxers down the slightest bit to feel his bare skin on hers. His brain nearly short circuited at the realization that she was completely bare under his t shirt that she was currently clad in.

"Please." Desperation was now evident in her own whispered tone. "Tell me you love me."

Clint cupped her face, and even in the darkness, the stars reflected perfectly in her beautiful dark orbs. The light of the moon illuminated her skin and her the glistening of her kissed swollen lips reminded him of his favorite constellations. Her face was absolute perfection.

"I love you." Those three words never sounded more sincere as they did at that very moment.

The kiss that followed was hard, and rough and embodied every ounce of passion Clint felt for Natasha. She whimpered at the action and tried to pull away to catch her breath, but Clint would have none of it. His hands tangled into her towel dried hair, fisting hard when she sucked harder on his tongue. Rolling her hips, het soaking wet folds glided over him and he swiftly slipped right into her. They both moaned loudly at the action.

Finally allowing the kiss to be broken, Clint sat up, causing Natasha to slide more deeply on him. Pulling the T-shirt over her head, Clint's mouth attached itself to her breast, sucking and biting on the hardened nipple ferociously. Her hands tangled into his hair and pushed him further into her chest, encouraging him to bite and suck harder.

Soft and sweet was not in the books tonight. Clint could not contain himself if he tried. If Natasha wanted him to stop, she had better do so now and throw him in the de-hulking cage. He wanted her so bad, his want for her grew bigger and bigger everyday. Natasha was his drug, and he was addicted beyond repair. No rehab could cure him of this intoxication that was the love of his life.

Natasha was his heroin.

Thrusting his hips up, he relished the sounds as she screamed out in pure pleasure. Head falling back, Natasha held onto his shoulders for support, forcing herself down hard to meet his thrust. A rhythm was soon found and Clint attached his teeth to her neck for added friction.

"Harder," Natasha managed to whispered, suddenly unable to feel the throbbing in her head or the ache of her shoulders. She was currently in a euphoric state.

Without hesitation, Clint flipped Natasha over on her back. Instinctively, she spread her legs wide for him and braced herself, for she knew what Clint was going to do. It was his favorite position, to have her underneath him at his mercy, taking all of him at his desired speed and roughness.

And liked she expected and strongly hoped for, Clint pounded into her ferociously, his hands gripping the headboard tightly. Her screams of pure pleasure were swallowed by his mouth, his lips attacking hers in a dance of dominance. Her nails dug deep into the sheets and their slick bodies slapped against each other.

Natasha chuckled into his shoulder as he continued his devilishly delicious thrusting.

Yes, this was exactly the distraction she needed to keep Clint's mind preoccupied.

* * *

**Uh oh, spaghetti-OHS.**

**LOL, I am doped up on morphine with my smashed foot, but they will be taking me off it soon. Its very depressing in my neck of the woods right now, but hey, if I do lose 2 toes, I should get a discount on a pedicure right?**

**LOl, one day, I will seriously look back on this situation, and legitimately find it amusing. **

**Until then, Caprisun is EVIL. **

**Review :) **


	16. Chapter 16

**Title:** Not an addict  
**Author:** Sofia B.  
**Category:** Avengers  
**Pairing**: Natasha & Clint  
**Rating:** T to M (drug use and sexual situations)  
**Summary:** Thought the battle is over, not even Clint in bed with her can make her feel better.

**Note**: Based on a song by K's Choice. Emotional and full of anguish.

**IMPORTANT: Good news is I get to keep 9 1/2 of my toes. The top of my big toe has been removed and now just hoping it all regrows back to looking somewhat normal. I actually am walking without a limp now. YAY**

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing, nada, zilch.

* * *

_**It doesn't hurt me.**_

_**You wanna feel how it feels?**_

_**You wanna know, know that it doesn't hurt me?**_

_**You wanna hear about the deal I'm making?**_

"I was starting to wonder when you would grace me with your presence."

A dagger whisked past Bianca's ear, barely missing her milky skin, slashing a few strands of her luscious brown curls along the way. Not surprised or affected by the apparent attempt on her life, Bianca reached over to grab a few cherries out of the crystal bowl on the side table. She was expecting, and dare anyone say HOPING for such a reaction. And surprisingly enough, Natasha was predictable like that, especially when she was desperate.

Unfazed, Bianca turned to meet the angry gaze of a rather pissed off Russian standing by the door. Her luscious lips curved into a devious smile.

"Good morning to you too sunshine." She seated herself on the couch in the penthouse suit.

"Do you actively enjoy ratting me out to Clint or are your lips just that loose to keep anything to yourself?" Natasha's tone was a calm as she could muster, given the circumstances. Arms crossed over her chest, she eyes Bianca intently, studying the woman she considered a friend. Bianca's facial reaction was not one that Natasha was expecting and it irritated her tremendously.

"Aww, did your sexy slab of man meat push you into a corner and accuse you of getting high as a kite?" Bianca asked, twirling the cherry stem with her fingers against her red appreciating the ridiculed tone, Natasha took in a deep breath before taking a few calculated steps into the living room.

"No thanks to you of course."

Bianca laughed. "And I am sure you masterfully convinced him otherwise. I actually did you a favor. You are welcome."

Natasha gave somewhat of a surprised laugh at that. "And how did you help me out there?" she asked, eager to know the answer to such an absurd statement.

"He asked you, you denied and he believes you. He won't believe otherwise so he isn't suspicious anymore." The smile on Bianca's face was sickening and Natasha would have loved nothing more then to slap it right off her face.

"You really want me to hurt you, don't you?" Natasha taunted, a fresh new dagger twirling in her hands. Bianca, cocking her head to the side, shot Natasha a non-amused look before turning on her heel to make herself a drink. "Martini?" she offered, Natasha didn't respond. Bianca rolled her eyes before taking a taste. Closing her eyes, she moaned as the liquid touched her lips. When she opened her eyes, she noticed Natasha still giving her an angry look.

"Is this the part where you tell me how you are going to torture me to death?" she asked, making her way back to couch. Crossing her legs seductively, her dress hiked up as she sat down, exposing her thighs and a sexy garter belt.

"Actually, you get a live demonstration," Natasha retorted, whisking another dagger in Bianca's direction. This time the dagger barely missed Bianca's knee, instead sticking firmly into the leather cushion. Bianca's eyes darted from the knife to Natasha, and raised her eyebrows.

"Is that supposed to scare me?" she asked, to which Natasha chuckled. "You know very well I don't miss unless I intend it to." Bianca herself gave a hearty laugh and sighed after she took another sip of her drink.

"Natasha, are so stubborn that you again fail to realize how this works?" Bianca taunted, and for the first time in that conversation, her tone was laced with aggravation.

"I have what you want, you will do what I want to maintain getting your high," she stated. "And if that includes me occasionally pushing your buttons, what the big deal? I get bored too easily, you know that." Her playful tone was infuriating Natasha and the Russian hothead cursed herself for leaving her guns at home.

"And you seem to forget how I react when you provoke me," Natasha retorted through an angry smile.

Bianca let out another hearty laugh. "And what do you think you are going to do to me? Tie me up to a concrete beam like last time? Oh wait, let me guess. You are going to sic your team of pathetic misfits on me to teach me a lesson?" Bianca couldn't contain the giggles that over took her. Natasha was growing more and more frustrated at the mocking she was getting, but she refused to give into her anger. Natasha was smarter than that.

"You and your freak show friends really do not make me quiver in my boots darling. I'm not afraid of them wreaking havoc on me." Her piercing eyes practically bore through Natasha's body and the redhead was starting to feel uneasy.

"However, that doctor is pretty cute. I would love for him to take out all that pent up aggression on me. All over my body," Bianca moaned, her index finger trailing up and down the slit between her breasts. Unable to keep her mind at bay, thoughts of Bruce and Bianca in bed together flashed through Natasha's mind, causing her breath to catch and her heart to beat into overdrive. To say it was not a pleasant mental picture was an understatement.

"You so much as breathe anywhere near any of them, I will rip you apart." Natasha threatened, her voice unsteady and filled with trembling emotion. She wasn't entirely sure if she was angry or feared for dear life, but her fists were clenched painfully, nearly breaking her own fingers. The crack in her demeanor was music to Bianca's ears, she loved nothing more than getting under the skin of those of whom she wanted the upper-hand. And it seemed like she was going to succeed in that task. Natasha was crumbling quickly, a little too quickly.

Bianca eyed Natasha skeptically. "This coming from the woman who, not too long ago, was willing to prostitute her boyfriend to me for a bag of cocaine. Honestly Natasha, do you really think you can intimidate me?"

"That was different," Natasha defended, to which Bianca scoffed. "That was Budapest." she countered.

"And that could have been so much more fun," Bianca softly and seductively replied. Natasha's breathing became loud and uneven.

Bianca's arched a brow at the sight of the sweat beads that were forming on Natasha's hairline. An evil chuckle escaped her throat. "Looks like you are due for another hit." She reached for to the table for a cigar box shaped case.

Natasha shook her head furiously. "No." Her voice betrayed her by not sounding too convincing. She wasn't quite sure who she was trying to fool. Bianca shot her a familiar look. "Come now baby, you know you want to," she teased, patting the seat next to her, instructing Natasha to come over. When Natasha didn't move, Bianca stood up from the couch and sauntered her way over the redhead.

Natasha didn't move, even when Bianca invaded her personal space.

"You remember the fun we used to have?" the brunette whispered, tracing Natasha's lips with her finger. Natasha tried to flinch her face away, but Bianca would have none of that and forcibly grabbed Natasha by the chin.

"You see my precious darling," Bianca whispered into Natasha's ear. "You are well and truly screwed if you don't do what I want." Her words stung like venom, sending uncomfortable goosebumps running up her arms. "Either you do what I want, or I promise you I will make good on your previous payment and I will take that man of yours into my bed."

Tears were starting to form in Natasha's eyes. The Black Widow was on the brink of an emotional collapse. She tried with all her might to keep herself at bay, but she was failing miserably and fading fast.

"You are the devil," Natasha spat.

"I'm not the devil deary, I am God." Bianca concluded, grabbing her secret stash of heroin

The last thing that Natasha remembered was snorting heroin off of Bianca's flat taut stomach.

* * *

"Something is wrong with Natasha," Tony flatly stated through a spoonful of cereal.

Steve wasn't entirely sure if Tony had just rolled out of bed or out of the lab or was hungover, but judging by the billionaire's unkempt hair, red eyes and 5 o'clock shadow on his goatee, he wouldn't be surprised if it was any of the three. He rolled his eyes, and shot Tony a half amused look. "Care to enlighten us on why you have such a notion?" he half heartedly asked.

Tony was too tired, or hungover to give Steve the finger.

"She keeps smiling at me. Not the "I'm gonna kill you in your sleep" kinda smile, but a real smile. Quite frankly, I am petrified."

Thor, hair properly groomed and looking immaculate as always, shook his head. "So Natasha smiled. Why is that alarming?"

Tony scoffed. "Because the smile isn't accompanied by a slew of death threats. Im uncomfortable with it." Loud slurping was followed as Tony started drinking the milk of his bowl. Steve frowned at Tony's lack of breakfast etiquette.

"Did you consider that maybe she is trying to be nice?" Bruce chirps in, looking at Tony over the top of his glasses, momentarily abandoning his newspaper. "She blew off your ear, almost split Pepper's head open and tried to make Cap a one armed monkey," the scientist added through a sip of coffee.

Tony shook his head. "Natasha is incapable of being nice, I think we should all be on guard." His matter-of-factly tone could be so perplexing sometimes.

Thor, halfway through his fourth poptart, seemingly did not agree with the bolder of the scientists. "Perhaps you are paranoid Anthony."

Tony rolled his eyes at the sound of his full name and reached over for the box of cereal to pour himself a new bowl. "Am I?" he challenged, looking at his compatriots, pointing his spoon at them for added effect. "She hasn't so much brought any of us to the brink of death lately, the gym is BARE and she is making odd noises that I can only translate as laughter." He paused for dramatic effect, hoping one of them would finish the thought for him. He wasn't overly thrilled when nobody seemed interested.

"Anytime now boys," Tony chirped.

"Your point?" Steve asked after a prolonged silence, buttering a bagel. Tony turned and pointed his spoon at the captain of the team.

"The aliens have turned her into an autobot!" Tony exclaimed, finally shoving the spoon filled with cheerios into his mouth. "Well, maybe a decepticon, I cant figure out yet which one would be hotter."

"I do not understand," Thor stated, brows furrowed in confusion.

"Transformers reference," Bruce immediately stated, but Thor still seemed confused.

"An electrical part?" he asked.

"My point GENTLEMEN," Tony exclaimed, not at all appreciating interruptions on Tony Stark, "Is that the black widow is hiding something."

"And you are stupid enough to go poking and prodding right?" Bruce asked, his eyes not leaving the newspaper, to which Steve and Thor both chuckled. Tony of course was unfazed by the ridicule.

"Look," Tony said, ignoring the question. "Jokes aside, I seriously am troubled by this. No woman is nice to Tony Stark by choice unless she is trying to get into my pants. So unless Red Riding Hood secretly has the hots for me, which you cant really blame her for, I think we should legitimately consider that she is hiding something that we should know." Steve for one was actually surprised that Tony really did sound serious, and not just saying shit for the sake of being humorous.

Truth be told, the Captain himself had been worrying about the redhead lately. He knew in his heart that Natasha would probably be the first person in their group to take a bullet for Tony, but her actually being more than civil to him of all people in their every day life was cause for concern. Because that is who Natasha really was. She was the temperamental, impatient and exteriorly distant Avenger who deep down was the one all of them could trust the most but on the outside was the least approachable.

"And why do you suddenly care about Natasha's well being?" Steve dared asked, wondering what Tony's true motivation was.

Tony shrugged. "I get bonus points with Pepper if I act like I care."

Steve wasn't convinced of Tony's answer. Tony may hide behind sarcasm and quirky remarks, but Steve had a feeling and deep down Tony wanted nothing more than for all of them to be a tight closed knit family...mind you of freaks, but a family nonetheless. And Tony would be the glue to bind them all together.

Bruce sighed and laid down the newspaper. "Someway she is going to find out that we are talking about her and maim every single one of us, so I suggest we drop the issue and just get on with our lives." he reasoned with a tint of aggravation in his tone. Tony, somewhat taken back by Bruce's rough answer, shot his fellow science brother a questionable look.

"And I am also getting tired of your conspiracy theories on Natasha. Its rather annoying," Bruce added.

"Somebody woke up on the wrong side of the chemistry chart this morning," Tony quipped with an arched brow, to which Bruce groaned.

"Temper, Temper." Tony said. "I dont have a temper, just a quick reaction to your bullshit." Bruce's words shocked all of them. Tony, more puzzled than any of them gave Bruce a questionable look before it dawned on him.

"You know exactly what's going on." Tony gasped. Bruce rolled his eyes before taking off his glasses and squeezing the bridge of his nose.

"Excuse me?" Bruce retorted in the same aggravated tone to which Tony gave him a surprised laugh.

"You and Clint have always been buddy buddy and constantly sneak away to have your super secret conversations. You and him have been discussing this issue since he came back!" Tony explained, in somewhat of a mumbled but still accusing tone. Bruce rolled his eyes again, he had no desire or strength to bicker with Tony today, especially not at 7:00 am.

"Now suddenly you have a problem with fraternization? Weren't you the one pushing for us to be like the Brady Bunch?" Bruce retorted in a raised voice to which Tony rolled his eyes.

"I have a problem with it when it leads to you lying to my face about it!" Tony responded, his fists banging on the counter top, causing his spoon to fall out of the milk filled bowl. "And that's damning seeing as you are the one thats constantly fretting about every single one of us when we get so much as a paper cut. So you either tell us the truth or shut the fuck up, but stop acting like you don't care or that there isn't a problem!" Tony elevated tone was causing Bruce's pressure to rise and Steve and Thor weren't overly thrilled that Bruce's skin was starting to turn a lime shade of green.

"Friend Stark," Thor interjected, hoping to quell the escalating argument. He was ignored.

"You really are losing your mind Tony," Bruce countered, hoping it would help him change the subject, but Tony didn't seem like he was going to relent anytime soon.

"Am I? Am I really that crazy to care about what happens to any of you?" he bellowed.

"You don't care about anybody but your goddamn self!" Bruce replied, his body gaining a size and turning a darker shade of green.

"Guys, maybe we should all just take a deep breath," Steve cautiously threw out, growing more and more and more concerned by Bruce's transformation into the Hulk. The Hulk wasn't the most desired breakfast companion. Thor was already taking stance, ready to summon his hammer if the situation called for it.

"Go ahead and Hulk out you coward. That's just your way of backing out of this very true conversation!" Tony bellowed, spreading his arms to show he was ready for a fight. His arc reactor glowed, showing that he was ready to suit up.

"Guys, lets all just relax!" Steve ordered, but the two brilliant scientists didn't seem to pay him any heed.

"What are you waiting for?" Tony challenged, shoving Bruce by his shoulders, wanting to anger Bruce enough to lose control. Bruce was ready to turn into an enormous green rage monster, when two new bodies entered the kitchen and caught his attention.

"What's going on here?" Pepper asked, Clint by her side with a few grocery bags. Concern and a tint of fear plastered her flawless features, and her eyes darted to each of the 4 other avengers in her kitchen. Bruce had returned to his regular self, and both he and Tony were huffing a little.

Tony was the first to move, and darted out of the kitchen.

"Tony?" Pepper said, grabbing ahold of his wrist, but he forcibly yanked his arm away, causing Pepper to stumble back a bit.

"I'm not the heartless bastard you all always make me out to be," Tony angrily spewed before stomping his way out of the kitchen and away from the Tower.

* * *

**Tony truly is the glue that binds them all together. Remember the little details people. Explosive chapters to come. **

**REVIEW**


	17. Chapter 17

**Title:** Not an addict  
**Author:** Sofia B.  
**Category:** Avengers  
**Pairing**: Natasha & Clint  
**Rating:** T to M (drug use and sexual situations)  
**Summary:** Thought the battle is over, not even Clint in bed with her can make her feel better.

**Note**: Based on a song by K's Choice. Emotional and full of anguish.

**IMPORTANT: I've lost the top of my toe. I'm having trouble coping with it. Will attempt to stay on track to update this story. Thanks for the support.**

**Further more, I continued this story because I got a message from a subscriber asking me to continue. If you like this story, please do us writers a favor and REVIEW. It goes a long way. Every chapter I get new subscribers that don't review and it is beyond frustrating and demotivating.**

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing, nada, zilch.

* * *

The next three weeks in Avengers Tower was anything but pleasant.

Mario and Luigi aka Science Bro Inc. were not on speaking terms after their breakfast blow up; Tony had barricaded himself in his super-secret science lab that was conveniently hidden in his bedroom while Bruce stayed in the basement lab. There wasn't so much as a hello, how are you doing, or even the new favorite "go to hell" coming from either one of them. Odd, seeing as those two were pretty much glued to the hip, well actually more like Tony's arms and legs wrapped around Bruce in a bear hug to keep Bruce from running away, since they became the super group of freaks that they are now.

Steve, being the good guy that he was, as team leader decided to give them both some breathing room to cool off and kept himself preoccupied with his usual gym trainings that now consisted of sparring with Clint and exploring New York in search of new things to draw. Thor had become a fixture at the local zoo. Natasha and Clint spent most of their time fornicating like rabbits and trying to get Natasha back in fighting shape.

It was needed, Fury had cleared her for active duty.

She wasn't entirely sure how she felt being cleared for battle; she was actually enjoying her time off. Letting her body rest had proven effective. Sleep was actually a favorable act for her now and her body had finally stopped aching. Not having to get up and report for duty was heaven on earth for her and pigging out on junk food and watching TV with the other idiots was a pleasure experience. Yes, she was enjoying her time off.

Or rather, she was enjoying not having to do random drug tests.

She knew the day would come that she would have to go back to work, and even though she was the venomous Black Widow, she was not immune to the drug testing of SHIELD agents. And that thought had been an annoying fixture in her brain.

Shit.

That morning Natasha found herself in the kitchen a little before the crack of dawn. Clint, who the night prior was sent to Spain with Steve for a quick 5 day mission had sent her a text message, not caring that she would break his neck for waking her so early. Though not wanting to admit it out loud, she appreciated the gesture. Romance wasn't exactly her forte. Seduction sure, she was a pro at that, but romance, actual romance was not something she was comfortable with. Clint was the romancer, sending her messages and leaving little surprises for her. It may not be conventional movie grade romance, but it was enough for the two of them.

Not aware of the blow up between Tony and Bruce weeks prior, Natasha figured that the 2 scientists had made a breakthrough with some scientific crap, hence the reason she hadn't seen any of them. Thor tended to keep to himself when Clint and Steve were away, he didn't have the mental strength to fight Tony on his own. Last time he attempted to do so, he found himself blasted out the tower – 3 times – by Tony's laser and it rained for 2 days.

The clock read 5:07 am.

Natasha decided to make a pot of coffee and whip up some oatmeal. She may not be an expert chef, but she could make a really mean bowl of oatmeal, made with a hint of honey and nutmeg.

The aroma brought Thor out of his hibernation.

"Breakfast time at this hour?" Thor peered through the hallway.

"Uh hmm." She instinctively grabbed another bowl and poured him some oatmeal and poured him some orange juice. After last time, she knew better than to give him coffee. She didn't have the patience for it.

Thor seemed confused. "It's still dark outside. Has friend Stark changed the time again or this unknown man named Daylight Savings?"

Natasha chuckled at the sight of him. Shirtless, Thor stood before her in a pair of track pants. His hair was in a messy ponytail and his eyes were sleepily fighting to stay shut, but his stomach wouldn't have that. He took a seat across from her.

She would be lying if she didn't think this God of a man was one of the sexiest things she had ever seen.

"No it's still early. Clint woke me up by phone so I decided to get an early start," Natasha sweetly replied, taking a bite of oatmeal. Her eyes instantly fluttered shut at the taste of the oatmeal, her pressed lips suppressing a soft moan. It had been far too long since she had such a delightful guilty sugar filled pleasure for breakfast. This humored Thor.

"I do hope that Clinton also has that amazing effect on you when he is in your presence," Thor stated, his spoon pointedly at her making circles, referring to her facial expression. Natasha blushed deeply, hiding her embarrassed face.

"Clint and oatmeal, my idea of heaven," she confessed, a smile crossing her features.

Thor scoffed. "There is no heaven if there are no poptarts."

"Or you naked infront of me," Natasha thought, her eyes skimming Thor's bare chest. Yes, this man was super sexy, too sexy to be human. He had to be a God, there was no way it was biologically possible for any human to be that good looking and charming and just plain YUM.

"I'm going to be so surprised if you don't get Type 2 diabetes with your new love for sugar," Natasha commented as she watched him pour more sugar into his oatmeal. Thor shrugged.

"I fear not the ailments of humans," Thor replied.

She furrowed her brows. "Is there anything you fear?" she dared ask, eagerly hoping he would answer.

Thor nodded, shoving some more oatmeal in his mouth. "Yes, you with a fork. I'm grateful for the fact that you are currently holding a spoon."

Natasha couldn't help but laugh at that. Sure, her nearly maiming Steve wasn't something to joke about it, but it sure as hell was funny breakfast banter. "Careful, I could hurt you just as bad with a plastic spoon," she teased, an ear to ear smile adorning her flawless features.

Thor couldn't help but chuckle at that. "It is good to see you smile again Natasha." He reached over, his hand covering hers. Natasha's heart skipped a beat, her eyes darting to his hand. She bit her lower lip. Lord this man was sexy, she never denied that. Truth be told, she was having vague dirty thoughts about Thor ever since that night he offered her cookies on the roof top. It was the first time Thor had called her beautiful and she couldn't help but have her mind wander. Twice she had fantasized about Thor being on top of her when it was really Clint. Or was she fantasizing about Bruce? She couldn't remember. She just remembered the feeling of euphoria as Bruce pumped into her. Wait no, Clint. It was Clint right?

Tony's arrival into the kitchen brought Natasha out of her confusion.

"Found yourself a new love slave red riding hood?" Tony asked, pointing to their touching hands as he chugged on the redbull he retrieved from the fridge. Natasha quickly jerked her hand away.

"Morning to you too jackass," Natasha muttered, her attention returning to her breakfast.

Ignoring the insult, Tony headed for the pantry and poured himself a bowl of cereal. He had been working furiously in his lab to a point where he was ignoring his stomach's pleading for substance. Jarvis had threatened to shut down the Tower if Tony didn't get something to eat and only Tony's lack of fresh caffeine had brought him to the kitchen. He wouldn't dare say he was intimidated by Jarvis's threat.

"It's only been a day you little mynx. No need to pounce on the blond zookeeper to fornicate," he added for good measure. To his amazement, and utter disappointment, Natasha did not hurl any objects to his head. Sadly, the only thing she did was roll her eyes.

"Very funny Tony. Bruce and I were just having breakfast."

Tony's brows arched, his eyes immediately darting around the kitchen, doing a 360 degree turn in search of his science brother. "Bruce?"

Natasha groaned, trying not to let her annoyance take over. "Yes. Bruce. Me. Oatmeal," she said, pointing to Thor. "Either grab a bowl or go back to your cave and zip it."

Tony, still looking perplexed, looked at Thor for an answer, but Thor seemed just as confused as him. He then just sighed, realizing that even he doesn't have the strength to argue with himself today. "Either you were born a blond or it is way too early for you to be awake. You can't tell the difference between Goldilock and Brucikins."

It took Natasha a second to process what Tony meant, and if it wasn't for SHIELD training, she wouldn't be able to hide her surprise that she actually said Bruce instead of Thor. It was Thor sitting in front of her right? Of course, Thor had been baited in by the aroma of her oatmeal. She hadn't seen Bruce in days. Wait, Bruce was still in the Tower right? Or did he go with Clint and Steve on a mission? Wait, did Steve go too, and was it even a mission?

Shit. Natasha was confused. She needed to think fast.

She noticed the redbull in Tony's hand, and he brain quickly thought of something.

"Clearly the lack of caffeine has fucked up your hearing and your sense of logic. Tony, this is THOR. BRUCE is probably barricaded in the lab, you know, where you keep him prisoner," she calmly stated, giving Tony a non-amused look. If there ever was a time to be grateful for SHIELD's training of betrayal, now would be it.

"Yeah ok," Tony huffed, leaning against the counter, continuing with his cereal. He was about to ask Thor a question when Natasha's action caught his attention. The redhead was constantly wrinkling and rubbing at her nose. Not overly suspicious to anyone else but something about the action had Tony thinking. He's never seen Natasha so much as sneeze or cough or even burp. Now she was rubbing at her nose as if it was leaking.

Odd, very odd.

"I really like this, what do you call it? Meal of oat?" Thor asked. Natasha hummed to acknowledge his question. "It is quite good." His compliments made Natasha almost blush. Almost. She wouldn't allow herself to blush in Tony's presence.

"Buddy, you must be high if you like Tasha's cooking. I've had it, and it isn't all that edible," Tony snorted.

"I'm not high," Natasha immediately defended.

Tony arched a brow at her. "Wasn't talking to you hothead. Was talking to Shakespeare."

Natasha bowed her head, trying to keep the panic that now filled her orbs hidden. Shit, she was losing her cool. This was not good.

"It is quite good. You must try some of it," Thor offered, to which Tony shook his head. The distraction gave her a second to uphold her composure.

"I can't trust your opinion. You would eat cardboard and say it was amazing. I swear, its like you are high on weed and the munchies take over," Tony joked. Thor laughed, but Natasha didn't react. Instead she kept her head bowed, eating her oatmeal silently. No quirky comeback to his comments made Tony suspicious.

Grabbing a spoon, he poured himself a small bowl of oatmeal and took a bite. It was watery, suspiciously watery, as if one was trying to hydrate a dry mouth. He took a seat next to Natasha and eyed her intently.

"Hey Nat," he said. Natasha looked up and met Tony's eyes. He saw what he was hoping he wouldn't see.

Constricted pupils.

"Oatmeal is pretty good." Natasha smiled and nodded her head as if to thank him. She got up and poured them all some coffee, hoping that Thor high on coffee would keep them all preoccupied.

"Really good," Tony softly muttered, shoving another mouthful of into his mouth, his eyes never leaving her.

* * *

**Oh dear. Tony knows. Will the others believe him? **

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	18. Chapter 18

**Title:** Not an addict  
**Author:** Sofia B.  
**Category:** Avengers  
**Pairing**: Natasha & Clint  
**Rating:** T to M (drug use and sexual situations)  
**Summary:** Thought the battle is over, not even Clint in bed with her can make her feel better.

**Note**: Based on a song by K's Choice. Emotional and full of anguish.

**The direction of this story has changed slightly due to some new inspiration of the Iron Man 3 trailer. I am sooo fricken excited to see it, and it seems Black Widow will make an appearance. Yippy!**

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing, nada, zilch.

* * *

"Sir, I do not think this is a wise idea," Jarvis warned.

Tony was unfazed. "I don't want to hear it JARVIS."

"Sir, I advise against this," JARVIS continued, but Tony was determined to get his way. And nobody gets in the way of a determined Tony Stark. His fingers were tapping on virtual screens at rapid speed, his eyes scanning them all as they were swiped by.

The breakfast encounter with Natasha and Thor earlier that morning had troubled him deeply, though he wasn't entirely sure his suspicions held merit. Sure, it would dramatically be entertaining if Natasha were high as a kite on her drug of choice. But on the same note her so called "telltale signs" could easily be a side effect of common illnesses that plague even the mightiest of Super Heroes. The constant itching of her nose could have been a side effect of Thor's newest obsession: getting a pet in Avengers Tower. Ever since the trip to the zoo, Thor had been wanting a pet, but when Tony refused on the account of allergies of some members of the team, and secretly because he didn't want any damn animal other than Bruce in the Tower, Thor had a proclivity for sneaking stray dogs onto his floor.

Unfortunately, Thor would learn the hard way that dogs do not like poptarts, and his secret friend would get exposed after trying to have Steve's calf for dinner.

The constricted pupils could have been a simple visitor that brought her a hangover. Natasha has been known to indulge in a little vodka when she wasn't on active duty, and truth be told, Tony couldn't blame her for that. Lord knows Tony has spent certain years more drunk than sober. And the vodka keeps Natasha occupied when Clint is away. Everybody and their mother know that Tony doesn't want to fill that spot.

Yeah, that all makes sense. It's all plausible.

But Tony Stark needed to be sure.

"Security cameras in place sir," JARVIS stated, something that resembled condemnation echoing with his statement. Tony hummed his approval, and widened the screen to encompass the entire wall of his bedroom lab.

The screen held live camera footage of Clint and Natasha's bedroom and bathroom.

"Sir, you agreed that you would not impose on the Avenger's privacy in their private quarters," JARVIS reminded Tony. It was true; they all moved in on the condition that their own space would remain just that, their own. And for the most part Tony had upheld that promise, save for the time he peeked around to get a feel for what to get them all for Christmas. He should have stayed away though, Steve's hidden stash of decades old soft core porn magazines were slightly disturbing. Funny as hell, but still disturbing all the same.

Tony rolled his eyes at JARVIS' nagging. A lecture was not something he was interested in; Pepper was out of town and that job belonged to her.

"Yeah well, I say a lot of things," Tony mumbled under his breath. Standing up straight, one arm reaching for his side, the other hand pinched at his chin. He studied the scene for a few moments before making a decision.

"Scan the rooms for narcotics," Tony ordered.

"Sir," JARVIS warned. Tony would not have it.

"Scan it," Tony ordered. A few seconds later and a few beeps, the screen showed various spots of orange, showing traces of drugs.

Tony sighed and shook his head. "You're killing me Red," he muttered, dropping himself on his desk chair.

It was then that Tony frowned. How could they not have seen this coming? Natasha had flown the coup weeks ago, his ear still showed traces of the stitches. They all knew then that something was wrong. The physical features were clear to the naked eye. But beyond the obvious, her hair no longer bounced, her eyes no longer shone and her sharp tongue wasn't throwing and daggers more deadly than her glare. Was it legitimate fear, ignorance and pure laziness that kept them from helping her when she clearly needed it?

They should have kept a better eye out. How the hell could they dare call themselves a team when they can't even look after the most fragile of them all?

There was a long unpleasant silence.

"How do you wish to proceed sir?" JARVIS asked. Tony hesitantly licked his lips.

"Call the rest of the guys. Tell them to come back home."

* * *

Apparently, getting into a fight with Tony was the best thing that could have happened to Bruce recently.

Since his little blow up with the billionaire, Bruce had barricaded himself in his basement lab that he usually shared with Tony. But both of them being the stubborn mules avoided each other like the plague. With all of his focus and interruption free time on his work, Bruce actually got a substantial amount of work done.

His productivity was up. But seeing as Clint was not around to keep him company with his injuries, nor Steve with his stories of time's past, Bruce needed some time out of the lab. Breathing space, Steve would call it. Never one to really socialize outside the trusted handful of Avengers, Bruce just decided to grab a cup of coffee at a nearby café. Sure, the tower was stocked with the best coffee that no café could compare to, but a change of scenery was nice and needed from time to time, even though he himself and Tony wouldn't dare admit it out loud.

On this specific coffee run, Thor had joined him. Surprisingly enough, Thor and Bruce actually shared intellectual conversations. The big blond buffoon was smarter than the average midgardian would give him credit for. They usually had lively conversations on the topic of astronomy and war history. Thor enjoyed tales of earthly epic battles and had a new fondness for war and battle movies. 300, well more the punchline "We are Sparta" was his current favorite. It was evident on Thor's face when he proudly retold tales of his world's wars, that he misses his home terribly. The sad smile and the look of solidarity in the blond god's eyes was something that Bruce recognized all too well.

"We must take you to Asgard Dr. Banner. The stars would fascinate you. Closer, much closer than here on Earth," Thor proudly stated, sipping on his latte. Bruce offered him a soft chuckle.

"Would I be able to breathe as a human up there though?' Bruce asked. It was a legitimate question that Bruce had been vaguely questioning whenever they had their conversations. A true human had never been to Asgard thus far.

Thor cocked his head to the side, contemplating the question seriously. "As a human, I am uncertain, but surely the Hulk would be very capable of surviving."

Bruce scrunched his lips, shaking his head before reaching for his own cup of Joe. "I'm not sure your parents would appreciate the Hulk as a visitor," he offered as a joke, though Thor registered the serious undertone of the statement.

The blond God sighed, cleaning forward as if he were to whisper a secret to his fellow Avenger. "Why do you speak of the Hulk as if you are ashamed or afraid of it?" Thor asked, to which Bruce arched an eyebrow.

"I don't understand. I do not fear the Hulk," Bruce immediately defended, though his own voice betrayed him by sounding uncertain.

Thor eyed him intently for a few moments before laying his elbows on his knees, his face resting on his knuckles.

"Friend Bruce, I feel you are lying to me, and perhaps to yourself. You fear the Hulk with all your being, and I cannot understand why." Thor's statement flabbergasted Bruce, who in turn gasped slightly before leaning back on his chair.

"Did you forget the little playpen session we had with your brother and his army? The Hulk left a really big mess that took Tony a lot of bullshitting to get out of. The Hulk is too unstable and destructive," Bruce retorted. The last part trailed off into a softer tone and Bruce kept his eyes on the coffee cup in his hands.

"And who is at fault for that?" Thor challenged.

Bruce locked eyes with Thor for a moment before casting his eyes down, perhaps in shame.

"Friend Banner, you are a brilliant scientist, and an even more brilliant man. Bruce Banner should define the Hulk, not the other way around." Thor's statement was filled with conviction and Bruce wasn't certain how to feel or respond to that.

Instead, Bruce offered him a nervous laugh. "I think you give me too much credit buddy, I'm nowhere near being a good man." Bruce leaned forward himself, his hands clasped between his legs, elbows on his knees, eyes to the floor. "My anger only leads to destruction, I can't control my anger."

Thor disagreed. "Suppression leads to destruction friend."

Bruce shook his head. "No, suppression is safe. Suppression makes me boring and people leave me alone for it. I enjoy it actually. Suppressing my anger saves people's lives, including my own." The lie didn't sound convincing no matter how hard Bruce tried. It was at that moment that Bruce wished that Thor was as dense as everybody makes him out to be, but he knew better. Thor was smarter than all of them combined.

Thor sighed and sat back up, leaning heavily against the back of his chair. Bruce was his friend, but he knew that no matter how close they all they, Bruce still pulled away and hid in solidarity. Not because he enjoyed it, but because he felt he needed to, to protect them all from himself. Bruce cherished his new "family" with all of his heart, but more than anything he wanted to protect from his destructive self. It pained Thor to see Bruce torture himself like that, it was an all too familiar sight that Thor couldn't bear to watch again.

"Loki used to suppress his anger. All his pent up rage and resentment turned him into what he is now. My brother used to be a good man Bruce. It might seem improbable but he was a genuine good man. That is what suppression leads to," Thor admitted. The hurt in his tone was echoing throughout the neighborhood, and Bruce realized just how much Thor really did miss his brother.

"You are telling me I am going to turn into your brother?" Bruce asked, in a slightly lighter tone to elevate the mood.

Thor shot him a crooked smile. "Well, you match in color, so it's a good start."

Both of them chuckled at that. There was a moment of silence before Bruce spoke.

"What do you suggest I do?" he dared ask.

Thor smiled. "Let go. Embrace. Shatter the walls that you keep up for protection and fully explore what the Hulk has to offer. You very well might possess other super power abilities that you are suppressing.

The Hulk might have supersonic hearing, sense of smell, something more than pure strength."

Bruce chuckled. "Funny, Tony said the same thing."

Thor returned the chuckle. "Well, friend Stark is a brilliant scientist."

"And let me guess, an even more brilliant man?" Bruce finished with a laugh to which Thor nodded.

Bruce nodded and took a deep breath, rubbing his thighs. "Ok, let's give it a shot."

Thor couldn't feel more proud than he did at that very moment. The beeping of Bruce's cellphone interrupted the brotherly moment Thor and Bruce were having. Bruce's brows furrowed into somewhat of a worry, and Thor clearly took note of this.

"There's a problem, Tony needs us back at Tower immediately." Bruce mumbled.

"What is amiss?" Thor asked as Bruce beckoned for the waitress to bring them their check. They both stood up and put on their coats.

"Don't know, but said it is important. Generally if Tony says that, he is in big trouble that we have to clean up."

Thor chuckled before they both made their way back to the Tower.

* * *

**Uh Oh. Is Tony going to tell them?**

**The suspense. **

**Review!**


	19. Chapter 19

**Title:** Not an addict  
**Author:** Sofia B.  
**Category:** Avengers  
**Pairing**: Natasha & Clint

**Rating:** T to M (drug use and sexual situations)

**Summary:** Thought the battle is over, not even Clint in bed with her can make her feel better.

**Note**: Based on a song by K's Choice. Emotional and full of anguish.

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing, nada, zilch.

* * *

Maybe, just maybe, Tony might have jumped the gun by having JARVIS call Bruce and Thor home to discuss his findings about Natasha.

He should have thought the whole thing through, because truth be told, how the hell was he going to tackle this situation? How in God's name do you even begin to fathom approaching Natasha Romanoff about her doing something illegal and deadly as heroin? Do you have a peaceful intervention or do you tie her to the bedpost until her withdrawal either kills her or blows over? Tony briefly thought about being a tattle tale to Fury and have him punish her. But they were a team, and they would figure it out as a team.

Where's the crappy team leader when you need him?

Maybe Tony should have listened the JARVIS when the computer told him to mind his own business. It wasn't so much that he wasn't completely prepared to follow through with his findings, its just he had no idea where to start.

"Damn, did I have to make you so smart?" Tony muttered under his breath as he paced through the basement frantically.

Bruce and Thor would probably be back any minute, but Clint and Steve were days away at best from whatever cave Fury sent them to. It was at that moment that Tony realized that calling the 2 other knuckleheads was a bad idea.

Bruce was like a double edged sword, he either cowered away from confrontation or lost his cool and wrecked Haarlem. Thor, In Tony's eyes' wasn't exactly the brightest when it came to earthling problems and he was pretty sure that given his luck, Thor would sooner join in on the heroin binge rather than help. So the short fuse and the short brained didn't make for the dream defense team against the crack addict.

A mental note was made to silently acknowledge that Clint and Steve would actually be useful to Tony at that moment.

Part of Tony wondered if this was an ongoing problem that only recently was unrooted because of his paranoia and insistent need to know everybody's business. For all he knew SHIELD had all of their agents on heroin to cope with the hell they go through for a living. It was plausible, how else did the only true humans on this mismatched team manage to kick as much ass as they did without being seriously and irreparably injured? And Clint and Natasha were always sent together to separate "decompression chambers" than the rest of them after missions. Snorting lines off each other's hips perhaps?

Tony didn't appreciate the party without him.

"How do you suggest we continue sir?" JARVIS asked. The question was answered with a frustrated grunt. "Gimme a minute to think will ya?!" Tony spat back, to which he received no reply.

The beeping of doors signaled to JARVIS that someone of the team was back home.

"Ms. Romanoff has re-entered the premises sir."

"Shit!" Tony muttered.

Like a child about to be busted by his mother with his secret stash of porn, Tony quickly cleared all the virtual screens. Now that his mind was somewhat clearer, he made a plan of action, albeit a hasty one. The only man that can tame Natasha and the other guy that can tame the group of them were out of town and of no help to the cause at the moment. Bruce and Thor would probably make it worse anyway. Tony would have to make do with himself.

He raced down to the kitchen.

"JARVIS, if I don't live through this, tell Pepper I want to be cremated. People dont need to see what Natasha does to my face when all this blows up," Tony called out as he went up the stairs.

He spotted the redhead in the kitchen making a sandwich, and her appearance wasn't all that appetizing. Her hair was a mess and extremely greasy and she appeared to be physically drained of color and energy. Tony ignored the logic that screamed to him that she just finished a run through the city.

He contemplated how to begin Phase 1: Not dying at the hands of Natasha. Step 1 was grabbing a beer out of the fridge.

"Late lunch?" was his choice of conversation opener. Natasha jumped back a bit. She was so lost in a distant gaze that she hadn't even noticed that she was no longer the sole inhabitant of the kitchen.

"Yeah," was all she muttered when she glanced over at him. The beer in his hand garnered him a scoff of some sort.

"A little early in the week to be drinking don't you think?" she stated.

Tony chuckled. "It's 5 o clock somewhere Red."

She spread another layer of peanut butter on her slice of bread. "Shouldn't you be working?"

Tony laughed. "I should. Don't worry, I never let my job interfere with my drinking."

Instead of laugh, Natasha merely rolled her eyes. It was no secret that she wasn't a fan of Tony Stark and she rarely thought any of his words or antics were amusing. If anything, Tony annoyed her every moment of the day just by breathing. Sure, she enjoyed living in the tower, even if she wouldn't admit it out loud, and she enjoyed the rest of the team. But though she wouldn't necessarily say she hated Tony or wish him any harm, she would feel that life would be more enjoyable if Tony wasn't around. He was much better suited to be buried six feet under.

Wait, what? Yeah, that's the heroin talking.

"So whatcha up to today? Anything fun planned for this evening?" Tony asked, leaning against the counter.

Natasha gave him an annoyed glare. "None of your business."

Tony pouted, a gesture he regularly made when he didn't get his way. "Oh come on Tash. I'm so bored with all the cool people and people I pick on out of town. How about you entertain me?" he almost whined.

"I don't really care that you are un-entertained," she challenged back.

"Do you ever?" Tony retorted to which Natasha arched an eyebrow.

"When it comes to you, I'm emotionally constipated. I haven't given a shit since I got here." To anybody else the words may have seemed harsh, but Natasha's demeanor lacked motivation and apathy. The line just seemed so rehearsed that it felt it to be a ruse to uphold a front that Natasha fought so hard to keep up. The Black Widow needed to uphold a reputation, even if Natasha Romanoff was drifting away.

Natasha was broken, and Tony would follow.

When Natasha took a bite of her sandwich, Tony took the extra few seconds to think. Slow and steady, or bold and blunt, how was he going to handle this?

"So, do anything illegal lately?"

Stupid was his choice of handling this.

"Huh?" Natasha muttered with a full mouth.

Tony shrugged before chugging half his beer. "You seem like the kind of person to do illegal things when you are bored. And seeing as your boytoy is out of town and daddy dearest still hasn't put you on active duty, I wonder if you are dipping on the wrong side to keep yourself sane."

Natasha tried to mutter the strength to laugh. She failed, and settled on rolling her eyes.

"But remember darling," Tony continued, "prison orange is so not your color." His wink made her snarl and made her bang her fists on the counter top.

"It would be my color if it was accompanied by you in a tux in a coffin. Push me and we'll find out if that notion holds merit."

Tony sighed. "Why are you always so damn mean?" he asked.

"Why are you always so damn annoying?" she retorted.

Tony feigned offense. "I'm well aware I am not everyone's cup of tea. I'd rather be someone's shot of tequila anyway." His tone was so matter-of-factly and his smile was proud. Natasha wished her gun was strapped to her thigh to shoot it right off his face.

"You're fucking crazy," Natasha muttered into her sandwich. Tony shook his head, ignoring the insult.

"No I am not. I just have a more humorous approach to reality. Speaking of which, wouldn't it be cool in Breaking Bad if Walter never really had cancer or cared about money, but instead it was just an elaborate ploy to get Jessie to learn chemistry?" Tony joked. He was disappointed when his stroke of brilliance didn't even garner a chuckle. He wasn't even entirely sure if Natasha was even capable of genuine laughter.

"What do you want Stark?" Natasha asked through gritted teeth. She had promised Clint that she would actively try to be nice to Stark or at the very least not kill him, but Tony was making it very hard to keep her promise.

"World Peace, a stack of pancakes and the latest issue of Playboy. How about you?" he teased.

Natasha sucked her teeth before roughly rubbing at her nose. Tony noticed her antics and saw that her nose looked like it had been rubbed raw. He frowned at that. Another tell tale sign they had all fly over their heads.

"I want to know what the fuck I can possibly say to get you out of my face so that you don't ruin the rest of my day," she bellowed.

Defeated, Tony threw the bottle of beer into the garbage before grabbing another one of of the fridge.

"You know Natasha," Tony began as he unscrewed the cap, "You are so damn beautiful, its a shame you are such a damn bitch."

With that he turned on his heel and headed up the stairs.

Natasha frowned for a moment, but quickly changed her tune when she heard Thor and Bruce re-enter the tower. She was quick to greet them and make a beeline for her private quarters.

She was completely unaware that getting her upset was all part of Tony's plan, and that the mastermind was closely now following her every move.

* * *

_'

**I know its been a while, I am trying to finish this story in the next 7 chapters :).**


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